Anger Management

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mcgaw81

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When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone,

don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know.

I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten to make.

I found the number and dialed it.

A man answered, saying 'Hello.'

I politely said, 'This is Chris.

Could I please speak with Robyn Carter?'

Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear 'Get the right f*** ing number!� and the phone was slammed down on me.

I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude.

When I tracked down Robyn's correct number to call her, I found that I had accidentally transposed the last two digits.

After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.

When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled 'You're an ******* !' and hung up. I wrote his number down with the word '*******' next to it, and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, 'You're an *******!'

It always cheered me up.

When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic ******* calling would have to stop.

So, I called his number and said, 'Hi, this is John Smith from the telephone company.

I'm calling to see if you're familiar with our Caller ID Program?'

He yelled 'NO!' and slammed down the phone.

I quickly called him back and said, 'That's because you're an *******!' and hung up.

One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot. Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting for that spot, but The idiot ignored me. I noticed a 'For Sale ' sign in his back window, so I wrote down his number.

A couple of days later, right after calling the first ******* (I had his number on speed dial),

I thought that I'd better, call the BMW *******, too.

I said, 'Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?'

He said, 'Yes, it is..'

I asked, 'Can you tell me where I can see it?'

He said, 'Yes, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd , in Fairfax . It's a yellow rambler, and the car's parked right out in front.'

I asked, 'What's your name?' He said, 'My name is Don Hansen.'

I asked, 'When's a good time to catch you, Don?'

He said, 'I'm home every evening after five.'

I said, 'Listen, Don, can I tell you something?'

He said, 'Yes?'

I said, 'Don, you're an *******!'

Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too. Now, when I had a problem, I had two *******s to call.

Then I came up with an idea.

I called ******* #1.

He said, 'Hello.'

I said, 'You're an *******!'

(But I didn't hang up.)

He asked, 'Are you still there?'

I said, 'Yeah.'

He screamed, ' Stop calling me!'

I said, 'Make me.'

He asked, 'Who are you?'

I said, 'My name is Don Hansen.'

He said, 'Yeah? Where do you live?'

I said, '*******, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd , in Fairfax, a yellow rambler,

I have a black Beamer parked in front.'

He said, 'I'm coming over right now, Don.

And you had better start saying your prayers.'

I said, 'Yeah, like I'm really scared, *******,' and hung up.

Then I called ******* No. 2.

He said, 'Hello?'

I said, 'Hello, ******* .'

He yelled, 'If I ever find out who you are...'

I answered, 'Well, *******, here's your chance.

I'm coming over right now.'

Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at 34 Oaktree Blvd , in Fairfax , and that my *** lover was on his way over to kill me.

Then I called Channel 9 News about the gang war going down on Oaktree Blvd. In Fairfax .

I quickly got into my car and headed over to Fairfax . I got there just in time to watch two *******s beating the crap out of each other in front of six cop cars, an overhead news helicopter and surrounded by a news crew.

NOW I feel much better

Anger management works d, 'You'll what?'

He exclaimed, 'I'll kick your ass,'

Not mine but i thought it was funny

 

The Godfather

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The Don felt this was one of those stories one has to continue with, regardless of how painful and distraught the outcome may make one feel.

My boys felt they had reached a low point (perplexed and agrieved having read such meloncony drivel), but I persuaded them time is a great healer and life and everything that evolves can get better.

My boys don't have anger management problems, because they tell me they sort this out when visiting some of the Godfathers less than honurable clients (who are persuaded otherwise), but I never ask about the sordid details, because I know the outcome is in my favour.

Anyway mcgaw81 keep posting and keep us amused.

The Godfather

 

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