Car drivers

[a2]

There was this car that was driving very slowly down the highway. A State Trooper pulls it over. "What have I done wrong, officer?" the driver asks.

"You are going 26mph on a major highway. There is a law against that," the officer says to the driver. "You must go at least 50mph."

"But when I turned on the highway, the sign said 26!" the driver replies.

"HA HA HA!" The officer laughs out loud. "That is because this is Interstate 26! The 26 isn't the speed limit!"

The driver leans back in her car seat and the cop sees another woman sitting beside her. She looked as pale as a ghost.

"What happened to her?" the officer asks.

"I don't know, but she has been that way ever since we got off of interstate 160."

<HR>

After a car crash one of the drivers is lying injured at the side of the road. 'Don't worry,' said a policeman, a Red Cross nurse is coming to attend to you.'

Oh no,' groaned the victim, 'couldn't I have a blonde, cheerful one?'

<HR>

I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather, not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

<HR>

What do you do if you see a spaceman?

Park your car in it man.

<HR>A speeding motorist was caught by radar from a police helicopter in the sky. An officer pulled him over and began to issue a traffic ticket. "How did you know I was speeding?" the frustrated driver asked.

The police officer pointed somberly towards the sky.

"You mean," asked the motorist, "that even He is against me?"

 

[a2]

A man in a Porsche 911 stops at a stoplight and a guy on a scooter pulls up next to him. The guy on the scooter leans over and takes an admiring look at the inside of the Porsche and tells the driver that he has a really hot car. Well, the light turned green so the driver of the Porsche decides to show off and peels out and leaves the guy on the scooter in the dust. Then, all of a sudden, he sees the scooter zip on past him. So, being a little cocky, the Porsche driver floors it again and blows past the guy on the scooter. A few seconds later, he again sees the scooter zip on past him. So now he's a little irate as well as a little mifted that that scooter keeps passing him so he floors it until he is going over 100 mph. He thinks to himself that there would be no way that scooter could catch him now, but then looks in the rearview mirror and sees that scooter starting to catch up. He then decides to find out what that scooter really is and slams on his brakes. Then the scooter crashes into the Porsche. After the dust settled, the Porsche driver sees the scooter driver lying in the road and goes over to him and askes how he could go as fast as the Porsche on a little wimpy scooter... The dying man replied, "I can't really, but my braces were caught on your side mirror...."

 

[a2]

You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

<HR>

A man was caught for speeding and went before the judge. The judge said, "What will you take: 30 days or

 

[Apache]

What do you do if you see a spaceman?Park your car in it man.

Applaud Smiley:^O oldie but goodie

 

[Apache]

I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather, not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

Applaud SmileyApplaud SmileyApplaud SmileyApplaud Smiley

made me smile

 

[a2]

A man in a Jaguar passed a mini that had broken down by the side of the road. Being a kindly driver, he stopped and fixed a tow-rope to it and began towing it to the nearest garage.

After 10 minutes of towing, a Porsche passed them at high speed. The Jaguar driver was not going to be outdone by a Porsche, so, forgetting that he had a mini in tow, slammed his foot down and the Jaguar and Porsche indulged in a high-speed race down the road, the mini and it's occupant trailing wildly about at the end of the rope frantically trying to attract their attention and failing.

A Police car saw them and gave chase. The Police driver radioed back to Headquarters "Sarge, you'll never believe this, I've just seen a Porsche and a Jaguar neck and neck doing 150 mph - and a bloke in a mini flashing his lights, blowing his horn and trying to overtake them!"

.

 

[a2]

There was once a small snail who always dreamed of becoming a race-car driver. One day he heard that an uncle of his had died and left him some money! Now his dream could be realized! He bought himself a car, souped it up, and then painted a large red "S" on it. When he was at his first race, a friend of his asked him why he had painted the big red "S" on the car? Simple, the snail replied; when people see my car go zooming down the, track I want them all to exclaim: Oh look!! See the S car go!!!!!!!!!!!!

.

 

[Apache]

There was once a small snail who always dreamed of becoming a race-car driver. One day he heard that an uncle of his had died and left him some money! Now his dream could be realized! He bought himself a car, souped it up, and then painted a large red "S" on it. When he was at his first race, a friend of his asked him why he had painted the big red "S" on the car? Simple, the snail replied; when people see my car go zooming down the, track I want them all to exclaim: Oh look!! See the S car go!!!!!!!!!!!!.

Applaud SmileyApplaud SmileyApplaud SmileyApplaud Smiley

(if you don't get it say it out loud - ssame rule aplies to text speak)

 

[Junior]

A man in a Jaguar passed a mini that had broken down by the side of the road. Being a kindly driver, he stopped and fixed a tow-rope to it and began towing it to the nearest garage.After 10 minutes of towing, a Porsche passed them at high speed. The Jaguar driver was not going to be outdone by a Porsche, so, forgetting that he had a mini in tow, slammed his foot down and the Jaguar and Porsche indulged in a high-speed race down the road, the mini and it's occupant trailing wildly about at the end of the rope frantically trying to attract their attention and failing.

A Police car saw them and gave chase. The Police driver radioed back to Headquarters "Sarge, you'll never believe this, I've just seen a Porsche and a Jaguar neck and neck doing 150 mph - and a bloke in a mini flashing his lights, blowing his horn and trying to overtake them!"

.

:^O hahaha, that's brilliant AD2!!

Made me chuckle! Applaud Smiley

 

[a2]

:^O hahaha, that's brilliant AD2!!Made me chuckle! Applaud Smiley

Tis a classic