Electician humour

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Q: What is the definition of a shock absorber?

A: A careless electrician!

Q: Do you know how an electrician tells if he's working with AC or DC power?

A: If it's AC, his teeth chatter when he grabs the conductors. If it's DC, they just clamp together.

Q: What is an electrician's favorite ice cream flavor?

A: Shock-o-lot!

Two atoms were walking down the street one day, when one of them exclaimed, "Oh no - I've lost an electron!" "Are you sure?" the other one asked. "Yes," replied the first one, "I'm positive."

Q: Why are electricians always up to date?

A: Because they are "Current specialists".

Q: How do you pick out a dead battery from a pile of good ones?

A: It's got no spark!

Q: What would you call a power failure?

A: A current event.

Q: What would a barefooted man get if he steps on an electric wire?

A: A pair of shocks.

Did you hear about the foolish gardener?

He planted a light bulb and thought he would get a power plant.

Printed on an electrician's t-shirt - "Don't mess with an electrical engineer. It MEGAHERTZ!"

OLD ELECTRICIANS never die, they just do it until it Hertz.

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A chemist, a biologist and an electrical engineer were on death row waiting to go in the electric chair.

The chemist was brought forward first. "Do you have anything you want to say?" asked the executioner, strapping him in. "No," replied the chemist. The executioner flicked the switch and nothing happened. Under this particular State's law, if an execution attempt fails, the prisoner is to be released, so the chemist was released.

Then the biologist was brought forward. "Do you have anything you want to say?" "No, just get on with it." The executioner flicked the switch, and again nothing happened, so the biologist was released.

Then the electrical engineer was brought forward. "Do you have anything you want to say?" asked the executioner. "Yes," replied the engineer. "If you swap the red and the blue wires over, you might make this thing work."

A man with a hearing problem walked into a power plant for a tour. He arrived late and had to join the rest of the group already on the tour. The man was reviewing what he had just told the group. He told the group that they wouldn't move on until they answered this one question: What is the unit of power equal to one joule per second called?" The man with the hearing problem hadn't heard the question very well, so he raised his hand and asked "What?"

 

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A Mexican, an Italian & A Blonde Electrician

There was a Mexican an Italian, and a blonde guy who were all electricians and working on the top floor of a 20 story high building.

It was time for them to go to lunch.

The Mexican opened his lunchbox to find a burrito and said:

 

Admin 2

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But still bring a smile on peoples faces
Yeah i do have that affect on people.

People are always laughing when im around, whether they're laughing AT me?? well at least they're laughing!!

:^O

 

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a blonde walks into a library and asks the librarian for a cheesburger and fries. The librarian replies "I'm sorry miss but this is a library" the blonde then whispers "sorry, can I have a cheesburger and fries".....
James,

Where is Simon? He hasn't been on since October.

 

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Dont know, he's coming over today for aq couple of weeks so will find out. Mind you the quality of jokes will plummet when he comes back on!
ROTFWL

Mind you, They're not that good now. :eek:

:^O

 
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