Generous Lawyer

[jameseye12]

A local United Way office realized that the organization had never received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer. The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute.

"Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500,000, you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give back to the community in some way?"

The lawyer mulled this over for a moment and replied, "First, did your research also show that my mother is dying after a long illness, and has medical bills that are several times her annual income?"

Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbled, "Um ... no."

The lawyer interrupts, "or that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair?"

The stricken United Way rep began to stammer out an apology, but was interrupted again.

"or that my sister's husband died in a traffic accident," the lawyer's voice rising in indignation, "leaving her penniless with three children?!"

The humiliated United Way rep, completely beaten, said simply, "I had no idea..."

On a roll, the lawyer cut him off once again, "So if I don't give any money to them, why should I give any to you?"

 

[steptoe]

:slap

 

[Revved Up Sparky]

The Pope died and went to heaven. He was greeted by St Peter at the pearly gates and escorted to his heavenly house where he would live for eternity. The Pope was very unhappy to find that he had been allocated a basement flat whilst he noticed that a lawyer was occupying a penthouse suite. He remonstrated with St Peter, "why .... after all those years of sacrifically serving the Lord.... am I being rewarded in this way ?.... why am I in a basement flat and what is a lawyer doing in that penthouse suite ?". Peter scratched his head and explained "...well you see it's like this..... we've got a lot of popes in here......................................................... but only one lawyer".