How to annoy a fitter.

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Tony S

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I nearly got lynched by my shift fitters.

ELECTRICITY: A GUIDE FOR MECHANICAL ENGINEERS AND FITTERS

WHY THIS GUIDE IS NEEDED:

More and more these days, Mechanical Fitters are expected to be able to:

1/ Change Light bulbs.

2/ Tune in transistor radios.

3/ Change TV channels via remote control.

4/ Operate microwave ovens.

5/ Replace car batteries.

6/ Maintain hand torches.

As these skills are foreign to Mechanical Fitter's training and competence, a few hints are recorded here for their guidance.

HINTS FOR MECHANICAL ENGINEERS AND FITTERS:

1/ Most electricity is manufactured at Power Stations, where it is fed into wires which are then wound round large drums.

2/ Some electricity, however, does not need to go along wires. For example, that used in lightning and portable radios is not generated, it just lies around loose.

3/ Electricity makes a low humming noise. This noise may be pitched at different levels for use in door bells, telephones and electric organs.

4/ Electricity must be earthed, That is to say, it has to be connected to the ground before it can function, except in the case of aeroplanes, which have different arrangements.

5/ Although electricity does not leak out of an empty light socket, that light socket is never the less live if you happen to shove your finger in it when the switch is on (so if it is not leaking, what else is it doing ?).

6/ Electricity is made up of two ingredients - Positive and Negative. One ingredient travels along a wire covered in brown plastic. and the other along wire covered in blue plastic. 7/ When these two wires meet together in what we call a plug, the different ingredients mix together to form electricity.

8/ Electricity may be stored in batteries. Big batteries do not necessarily hold more electricity than small batteries. In big batteries the electricity is just shoveled in, while in small batteries the electricity is packed in flat.

9/ With the invention of coloured electricity, so also came a great easing of the traffic problem. Before this, policemen had to be used at road junctions.

10/ An even bigger breakthrough came in 1929 with the invention of negative electricity, this resulted in the invention of the electric refrigerator.

ELECTRICAL APPARATUS:

* A few notes on the function of various types of Electrical Apparatus for Mechanical Fitters.

1/ The light switch : The lever controls a small vice or clamp which grips the wires very hard and thus prevents the electricity from passing that point when the switch is in the .OFF' position.

2/ The light bulb ? This is one of the few times when electricity can actually be seen. This takes the form of a tiny spark which is magnified many hundreds of times by the curved glass of the light bulb. Unfortunately, these bulbs have a limited life because as anyone can tell you. The heat generated by the magnified spark causes the oxygen in the bulb to condense into moisture. And this moisture then quenches the spark.

3/ The fuse box - This is where all the wires in a house come together (or fuse) with the wires from the power station. It is prone to failure due to the fact that manufacturers of this service put in wires that are too thin.

Note: There is a brand of chicken wire that in an excellent substitute for fuse wire and is much more reliable. Use this and even though 'our spin drier may burst into flames your fuse box will still not let you down.

THE SMOKE DISCOVERY:

The big lie from when Benjamin Franklin discovered electricity has finally been made public by a few turncoat electricians. These Electricians have since been excommunicated from their colleagues in the Electrical Trades Union. This information on what electricity really is would be of considerable value to Mechanical Fitters.

1/ Computers, electric lights, stoves, electric motors and all other electrical and electronic equipment run on smoke.

2/ All smoke is generated at Power Stations. It can be stored at a local level in batteries and capacitors.

3/ All those overhead wires, house wiring and printed circuit boards carry smoke from the power station to the fuse boards to the appliances and electrical equipment.

4/ If one of the wires or components break or become damaged. The smoke may escape and stops the equipment from working.

5/ The bigger the appliance the thicker the wire is needed to carry the  smoke, or in the case of a complicated device, many thin wires each carrying a small amount of smoke.

6/ The severity of an electrical problem (when the smoke starts leaking from the equipment) can be judged by the colour of the escaping smoke.

7/ Heavy black smoke is the most serious, with lighter grey smoke usually not as bad.

8/ Just how the smoke works can easily be explained. When you turn on the light switch, the smoke flows into the light bulb with such force that it gets excited and glows. This sucks up all the dark in the room and turns the smoke. black (in the return wiring).

9/ This black smoke is used in your toaster. where it falls on the bread to make it darker. Sometimes when too much smoke is used it will escape out of the top.

10/ The first industry to cotton on to this smoke theory was the Railways. They noticed that a lot of smoke was escaping from their steam locomotives, so they switched to diesel. These also leaked a little, and the trend today is towards almost leak proof electric trains.

All Mechanical Engineers and Fitters should understand the smoke theory, to become proficient in their goal of achieving some of the competencies of their Electrical Worker colleagues.

Footnote: This advice is believed to have come from the E. T. U.

Trusting you are now much more edumacated than when you started to read this Topic.

Kind Regards

 
Last edited by a moderator:
Hi Tony

I think most edumcated Forum Members knew about the role of smoke in electrical circuits and we were happy to keep it to ourselves.

Unfortunately, LFG had to go and stick their bloody oar into it and declare "You can't have smoke without fire".

We all know what that led to.

SBS Dave

 
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