...it's been a while, but here are few things that I am unhappy with

[kerching]

Strictly Come Prancing

Brackenheath floodlights

Cobwebs

Pretentious twattery

Old men whistling in supermarkets

Aldi and Lidl pre packed veg...goes off before you get out of the door

Milk from a Petrol station....see above

Lidl and Aldi using their own date coding system instead of normal dates

New shell garages where the pump talks to you

Overuse of Buzz words, like;

Journey

Robust

Thorough

Far reaching

Own

Limited edition....no it's not it's a fricking customer trial

Billy the Exterminator

The Late Brucie....just because he has shuffled off this mortal coil doesn't mean that I have to like him now

B & Q....did I ever tell you about their appalling customer service and lying?

Liars....eg people who say they will do something then don't.  All those who threatened to emigrate if Tories got in. People who say they will leave a forum as they are sulking...then come crawling back

Zero to heroes

Bullers who reckon they have done it all

Neighbours guttering dripping rain onto his gin outside our window

Neighbour

Caravans

Winkleman

Piers Morgan

"Sparks" in wholesalers who ask how to do the simplest of jobs

Never ending cost of paying for Regs Books and GNs

Scam prices

Stuart Hall, Rolf, all fiddly diddlers

Brian Connelly...gives me the creeps

Feltz

El cheapo ,electrical accessories

Mike Brewer......cockney dwarf

Celebrity chefs....except Rick Stein

Air Con fitters

Fake "engineers or technicians"

Probably a couple more, but it's late and I still have people to upset

 

[Blue Duck]

Do we get to join in? I need confirmation before I explode!

msl:

 

[kerching]

Do we get to join in? I need confirmation before I explode!

msl:

Carry on!

 

[ProDave]

People who sing along to the song on the radio, but one line in advance (the joiner on my present job)

 

[kerching]

"Dynamic"

celing tile dust

lidl, S.H.I.T.T.A.K.E.mushroom pâté.        Have you tried it , they must have spelt it wrong

The late Brucie

david Walliams......excellent in Little Britain but in any other scenario he gives me the creeps

politically correct multi ethnic adverts....idea for new game show....."spot the missing minority"

pavement Pizzas

dog eggs

dog toffee

people who keep,telling you they are crazy or mad..."I'm mad me, I am!"...no you are not you are needy

 That fat lardy black haired ( dyed) lump on eggheads who insists on singing at every opportunity

guitarists who,, when being interviewed, insist on giving you a few notes. I.e. Nile Rogers

badger bothered Brian Mays hair , looks like an epileptic mattress

Tofu

The entire cast of Eggheads....prog is good, the actual,Eggheadsshould be on a register...funny when they get it so wrong then look gutted

Cheap,LEDs

CHINT

B&Q...did I ever.........

cheap coffee

crumpet loaf.....what's that all about?

poncy "new food'......Quinoa, Edame beans, Courgetti, 

Quorn

Egg custard tarts.......puss in pastry

TV  profs where they start giving the wife a speaking part....Salvage Hunters now has Mrs Slaphead in a speaking role....cannot even tuck her shirt in. Combatb Dealers ...Bruce's wife now speaks and chips in

soggy chips

effected accents......Scots coffin dodger on Antiques progs

Tim Wonnacot....typo surely?

.....and breathe

 

[Evans Electric]

Kerch ...have you got room for  cooking programmes on TV  , especially blokes cooking .  ?

As I may have mentioned 900 times  , I don't work every day so I'm cooking myself a full English one morning last week ,  I know I'll turn on the kitchen TV , theres about 200 channels  ...all cooking :innocent .   Now cooking your own grub is one thing , watching  everyone else cooking grub is pain in the aristotle.   

  So theres one bloke cooking something so I switch over ...... a woman and a bloke cooking ...  switch over , theres actually six  blokes behind a counter , one cooking , the others grinning inanely at the camera ....switch over ,  theres people cooking stuff with a couple of chefs  picking flies out of their efforts with one unknown H list celebrity in tears .      

 

[Sharpend]

Therapy recommendation: do not switch on TV, put some music on in its place -you'll feel the benefits in no time  

 

[kerching]

Therapy recommendation: do not switch on TV, put some music on in its place -you'll feel the benefits in no time  

I would but I cannot afford  the socket to plug the Dansette record player into,so,I can listen and appreciate the subtle colour nuances of my 45 + year old Black sabbath LP

 

[Sharpend]

I would but I cannot afford  the socket to plug the Dansette record player into,so,I can listen and appreciate the subtle colour nuances of my 45 + year old Black sabbath LP

Now this is the Kerch we all know and love!  

Subtle. 

 

[Phoenix]

celing tile dust

About a year ago I had to go to A&E to have a fleck of ceiling tile removed from between my eyeball and eye-lid. If all the things I never considered I should be wearing safety specs for.... putting ceiling tiles back was one of them!

 

[binky]

would it be quicker to list what you like @kerching  :slap

 

[kerching]

would it be quicker to list what you like @kerching  :slap

I feel a new, but very short, thread a'coming

 

[binky]

shoes?

 

[revjames]

people who park outside my house

people who break my mirror on the car and say nothing

scousers

hipsters

people who win the lottery

ginger nuts (the biscuits)

raw sewage

overly complex things that could be simpler

London

Ken Livingstone

Jeremy Corbyn

Red Dwarf

Athletes foot

People who complain and write big long lists of things they dislike...... :wink

 

[OnOff]

Hoodies

Stoptober

Movember

Page 3 without 'em'

The "Because all families are different" ad

Maplin

Car wash accosters..."Car woss mista?"

Positive discrimination

The Evening Standard

JC 

That St Georges isn't a public holiday

Appeasement in all its forms

 

[Evans Electric]

They all sound reasonable  "hates"   OnOff  ........  but you'll have to enlighten me on a few .

Movember    :C

Not a Sun reader  so I presume "Page 3"  has now gone PC   so no more threepenny bits ? 

TV ads  I now turn the sound off  & talk to the dog ..he makes more sense  . 

The Evening Standard   Eh !    We don't get that ooop here in the north .  

JC     Jesus Christ   :C  Jackie Charlton  :C

 

[Sharpend]

Isn't JC his mate John the Chippy who always asks for a favour???

 

[Evans Electric]

You mean Jesus had a mate called John  who was also a chippy ...or that bloke who used to plunge you under the  water in the River Jordan ?  

 

[OnOff]

Corbyn!

My JC's a star though he does keep bringing me stuff he finds on site that "might come in useful one day" as I have the space. Well after 35 years of being mates I no longer have the space!

Movember - Grow your facial hair for charity.

I loved Page 3! Grew up with a healthy appreciation of the female form and it didn't turn me into Harvey Weinstein! My ideal paper would be The Times...with Page 3  for the  jubblies!

Encouraging beards and women to keep covered up, sorry but you don't have to be a genius to see the agenda here.

 

[Blue Duck]

Corbyn!

I was listening to him a Sadiq noshing each other off on some lefty wheatgrass & social inclusion crusade this afternoon.  :vomit

Not that I can stand any politicians of any variety, so there, stupid politicians can go on the list.

Thanks.