Jokes to offend everyone

[Apache]

Jokes to offend everyone

A history teacher asks a class "What was Churchill famous for?"

A kid at the back shouts out

 

[a2]

:^O

 

[SLIPSHOD & SLAPDASH]

Whats the difference between an Elephant and a Greek Grandmother

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About 2lb and a black dress

 

[ABC Technical]

Patch you hould have left them all in, it is only comedy after all.

 

[airkool]

Dan was a single guy living at home with his father and working in the family business.

When he found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he needed a wife with which to share his fortune.

One evening at an investment meeting he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.

Her natural beauty took his breath away. "I may look like just an ordinary man," he said to her, but in just a few years, my father will die, i have no mother so I'll inherit

 

[Apache]

Dan was a single guy living at home with his father and working in the family business. When he found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he needed a wife with which to share his fortune.

One evening at an investment meeting he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.

Her natural beauty took his breath away. "I may look like just an ordinary man," he said to her, but in just a few years, my father will die, i have no mother so I'll inherit

 

[batty]

tut tutAdmin 2 posted same joke on the 22nd

Electrician Forum

Paddy I thought I had read that one before.

Batty

 

[daryl631]

needed a good laugh lol

 

[Andy™]

ASIAN HIGH SCHOOL MATHS EXAM

1. Abdhul has an AK-47 with a 40-round clip. If he misses 6 out of 10 shots and shoots 13 times at each Infidel, how many will he shoot before he has to reload?

2. Mohammed has 2 ounces of cocaine and he sells an 8-ball to Salim for £320, and 2 grams to Mukhtar for £85 a gram. What is the street value of the remaining cocaine that he doesn't cut?

3. Rafiq is pimping for 3 women. If the price is £65 for each trick, how many tricks will each woman have to turn so Rafiq can pay for his £800 a day crack habit?

4. Irshad wants to cut his 1/2 pound of heroin to make 20% more profit. How many ounces of cut will he need to reach his goal?

5. Rashid gets £200 for stealing a BMW, £500 for a porsche , and £400 for a 4x4. If he steals 2 BMW's and 3 4x4's, how many Porsche's will he have to steal to make £2400?

6. Rashid is serving 16 years in prison for terrorism. He received £10,000 for the hit. If one of his four wives is spending £100 a month, how much money will be left when he gets out of jail, and how many years will he get for killing the ***** for spending all his money?

 

[springcrocus]

Andy - Applaud SmileyApplaud Smiley Now that lot I did find hilarious. :^O :^O:^O

 

[Andy™]

got thousands more like that...

 

[Badger]

ASIAN HIGH SCHOOL MATHS EXAM1. Abdhul has an AK-47 with a 40-round clip. If he misses 6 out of 10 shots and shoots 13 times at each Infidel, how many will he shoot before he has to reload? first 10 loaded, then miss 6 then another 10 then miss 6 then load the last 8 = 28 he shoots the first 13 so use all 10 bullets, then shoots another 13 times and uses another 10 bullets then shoots another 13 times and uses 7 bullets, then shoots another 13 times and only uses 1 bullet before he reloads, thats going to mean he reloads once on the last person, unless there are more after that 4 th person.

2. Mohammed has 2 ounces of cocaine and he sells an 8-ball to Salim for £320, and 2 grams to Mukhtar for £85 a gram. What is the street value of the remaining cocaine that he doesn't cut? 56 grams in 2 ounces, hes sells 5.5 (3.5 in 1/8th ounce and 2 grams = 5.5 grams, 56 grams - 5.5 grams = 50.5 grams left, multiply that by 85 per gram =