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a2

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100% bloke jokes!!

How many men does it take to open a beer?

None. It should be opened when she brings it.

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Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?

Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.

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Why do women have smaller feet than men?

It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows

Them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.

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How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?

When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me..."

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How do you fix a woman's watch?

You don't There is a clock on the oven.

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Why do men pass gas more than women?

Because women can't shut up long enough to

Build up the required pressure.

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If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?

The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.

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What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?

A woman who won't do what she's told

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I married a Miss Right.

I just didn't know her first name was Always.

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Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%.

It's called a Wedding Cake

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Why do men die before their wives?

They want to.

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Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

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In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.

Then God created Man and rested.

Then God created Woman.

Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.

 
:^O

I'm glad she has joined here. She has developed a "Sense of Humour". :eek:

I'm off to hide before SWMBO, gets home.

:^O :^O:^O

 
ok following on from that one.....

How do you scare a man???

Creep up behind him and throw rice at him!! :^O

Old ones are always the best:D

 
A woman inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: 'Husband wanted' . Next day she received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: 'You can have mine.'

 
Yes Mate, She Guessed that was the case... But...

...Before she could add "I meant the old 'Jokes' are the best" - I kicked her off of the PC and took over.

So Mr Steptoe, That is what she meant my friend. Not personal to you Sir.

:|

 
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