My ignorant neighbour knocked on my door at 2:30am this morning, can you believe that 2:30am?
Luckily for him though I was still up playing my Drums!!
I sat on the train this morning opposite a stunning Thai girl.
I kept thinking to myself, please don't get an erection, please don't get an erection...
But she did!!!
The Grim Reaper came for me last night, and I beat him off with a vacuum cleaner.
Well, talk about Dyson with death.
Did you hear about the fat alcoholic transvestite?
All he wanted to do was eat, drink and be Mary.
Paddy says "Mick, I'm thinking of buying a Labrador."
"Sod that you idiot" says Mick
"have you seen how many of their owners go blind"
Man calls 999 and says "I think my wife is dead"
The operator says how do you know?
He says "The sex is the same but the ironing is starting to build up!"
I was in bed with a blind girl last night and she said that I had the biggest penis she had ever laid her hands on.
I said "You're pulling my leg"
I've just had a letter back from Screwfix.
They said they regretted to inform me that they're not actually a dating agency.
A man walks into a welsh pub and orders a white wine spritzer.
The bar goes silent as everyone stares at him..."Where are you from?
You sound English", "I'm from across the Severn," replies the man nervously.
"What do you do, just across the Severn?", "I'm a taxidermist."
"What on earth is one of those?", "I mount animals."
"Its all right boys," shouts the barman he's one of us.
Spent
Luckily for him though I was still up playing my Drums!!
I sat on the train this morning opposite a stunning Thai girl.
I kept thinking to myself, please don't get an erection, please don't get an erection...
But she did!!!
The Grim Reaper came for me last night, and I beat him off with a vacuum cleaner.
Well, talk about Dyson with death.
Did you hear about the fat alcoholic transvestite?
All he wanted to do was eat, drink and be Mary.
Paddy says "Mick, I'm thinking of buying a Labrador."
"Sod that you idiot" says Mick
"have you seen how many of their owners go blind"
Man calls 999 and says "I think my wife is dead"
The operator says how do you know?
He says "The sex is the same but the ironing is starting to build up!"
I was in bed with a blind girl last night and she said that I had the biggest penis she had ever laid her hands on.
I said "You're pulling my leg"
I've just had a letter back from Screwfix.
They said they regretted to inform me that they're not actually a dating agency.
A man walks into a welsh pub and orders a white wine spritzer.
The bar goes silent as everyone stares at him..."Where are you from?
You sound English", "I'm from across the Severn," replies the man nervously.
"What do you do, just across the Severn?", "I'm a taxidermist."
"What on earth is one of those?", "I mount animals."
"Its all right boys," shouts the barman he's one of us.
Spent
