So at this time of the year let me be the first to say

[kerching]

...there have been/are a number of minor things that have boiled my urine this year, and other things that have made me become a little 'terse'.

so in the true spirit of the forum I though I would share my musings. I stress that these are only my personal views and do not reflect the feelings of the forum.  Others may have differing views to myself but they are wrong

so in no particular order

Michael macintyre ....flop haired mockney wazzock

Greg wallace...guffawing Malteser headed Penfold tribute act

That boss-eyed Pratt on the ASDA advert

TESCO Cancelling the naughty list

Poncy coffee

Covid

Folk whinging about being promoted to tier 3...up'ere int north weeev been innit almost constantly....deal with it

The 300 plus ministers who voted to 'starve a kid to,save a quid' W ️ s

Ministers who make the rules then break them as they are a special case

Dominic Cummings W️

Ministers getting a tax free grant of £10k for a laptop so they can work from home during Covid 

Trump.......delusional orange wombat

Baxters Lobster bisque soup

Xenon HiD headlights on a Volvo XC90

Aldi/Lidl ....most of their fruit and veg.  HTF does it go off between putting it in the basket and the checkout

Cretins who cannot control their dogs and turned my 12 week old puppy into a bag of nerves

Vet bills

People who need a job doing before Xmas and I am the 5th person they have called

Pallets falling on my leg

Punters who try to barter on a price....instant answer "sorry I've just become too busy to do it"

Punctures

Not being able to see all our grandchildren at Xmas

Ant and Dec

That gimp on the ASDA ad... deserves two nominations

Ethnic inclusivity......how many cultures can you get in one ad

The fact that NOBODY has died of old age this year according to 'next slide please" graphics

Dodgy graphics

Perfume adverts

Kisstory radio

Radio 1

Yank podcasts that site builder insists are funny......in the same way as syphillis is

Prince Andrew the "alleged" non sweating Paedo/diddler

McDonalds anything

Kentucky anything

Anything with Artisan or Designer in its description

Wannabe You Tube stars

Fake /enhanced Duck lips  

Noisy car exhausts usually on Saxos

People who drive like nutters when leaving industrial estates at clocking off time

My neighbour who has to rearrange her bins at 6 in the morning

Customers who buy their own materials based upon cost, despite being advised otherwise

Covidiots

Majority of ML/Knightsbridge products

4mm sleeping over earths in lights/sockets

Twisted earths in ONE sleeve

 

[Murdoch]

For me it’s the media, whipping up a storm, broadcasting images of people with trollies full of bog rolls

and now making headlines stating the bleeding obvious

as for the trade ...... it’s the continuation of the unnamed committees changing rules and regs, thinking we all have time to keep up with their thinking, whilst they do jack all to educate joe public or us in the trade ....

 

[roys]

As above, all good points.

Plus

People who drop litter. PS cigarette ends are also considered as litter.

People who do not pick up their dog muck.

People who are inconsiderate.

 

[SPECIAL LOCATION]

As long as you don't list Bob Mortimer & Paul Whitehouse, gone fishing, in any of those lists I am happy!!

I am not a fishing sort of person, (excluding the net & bucket in the rock-pools on the beach with the kids)..

But I think I could watch hours & hours of Bob & Paul chatting about, fishing, health, life in general and any other topics..

without any dissatisfaction at all!!

They are geniuses at simple entertainment without a reality-show-phone-in-contest-knock-out-to-go-through-to-next-week!!!

luv it!

Guinness

 

[kerching]

All,above points agreed with!

 

[revjames]

3rd nomination for Asda guy. I can't watch it and he's on radio ads now tooo aaaarrrggghhhh

 

[kerching]

Gambling adverts

john torrode

Banks who are 'standing by you every step of the way'....doing it for free are they?

wee Jimmy krankie Sturgeon....the law breaker, seen on news she has been breaking her own laws in Public, hypocritical dwarf

binmen who cannot put the bin between the driveways and have to put it in the middle of the driveway

starmer.."..first class degree in Hindsight....tosser

trying to be sold something at the checkout ..."are you ok for toilet rolls?"....what's it to do with you!

scottish accent

Muzz Khan......google him......and his entire family

Limited editions... no,it's not it is a field trial

football....it's not important, deal with it

motorway services fuel prices

DFS sale

that female chef.   Andi something...the one who could eat an apple through a chain link fence

 

[SPECIAL LOCATION]

What about all the charities who have had a really bad year due to Covid..

BUT.. can still afford to purchase prime-time advertising slots to ask us to text a message to 77123..

to set up a £25 per month standing order to save an orphaned Goat or Pig or Donkey or something???

:C

 

[Geoff1946]

The only one I would disagree with is the Lobster soup. I like that!

What I would add is the quoting of, "human rights", to prevent appropriate treatment of various criminals. 

As far as I'm concerned , "rights", are to be earned through responsibility and equally can be forfeited by anti-social behaviour.

 

[revjames]

oh and let me add to my list

Mark Drayford

Welsh Assembly

Tony Blair   (interfering with Brexit behind the scenes)

Gordon Brown    (advisor to Drayford)

Ginger biscuits

Chris Evans

Noisy neighbours

Nosy neighbours

Chiwawas

Cats crapping in my garden

Inconsiderate parking

People blatantly using phones whilst driving

Smokers/ Vapers getting too close standing by shop/pub doorways etc

dog poo on pavements

Litter on pavements

The EU

Could go on.... in fact I will later. its fun

 

[Murdoch]

to add

footballers, TV "presenters" and radio "hosts" who do the same work, week in week out, month in month out, year in year out AND claim they are SE. SE my arse - they should be taxed as employed and do a tax return at the end of the year

AND the throw away products we all have to install - sure LED fittings save energy, but chucking them away after 13 months is hardly green

 

[kerching]

The only one I would disagree with is the Lobster soup. I like that!

The soup itself was fine....it's the "added shell " you have to sieve it before eating. If you forget then it's like licking a road

Could go on.... in fact I will later. its fun

Looks like I've started something

 

[kerching]

Ok then

that tw@ on the ASDA adverts

Brucie....gone but not forgotten

YESSS electrics own brand accessories.....Wireplast?

B@Q. Did I ever tell you about their .....

Tools ( of a very poor quality) made in pink for the ladies

prannocks who go into the suppliers all tool-belted up.....how do you drive safely with a tool,belt on?

attractive young ladies who insist on wearing their jumper/top tied around the waist in the summer

the roll out of 'inclusivity' within the TV presenting community....never seen as many minority presenters

Dominic littlewood....mockney hobbit who has to stand with his feet 2 postcodes apart

people carrying out conversations in the middle of super market aisles

Matt Albright...presenter of Watchdog......"learning to be a Housing Inspector" my arshe.  Interfering nosey gob-shyte 

morrisons spray on trolley sanitiser......it sprays your groin and you appear to have fouled yourself

morrisons hand sanitiser....doesn't evaporate then reactivates when it gets wet and you cannot grip anything

presidential pardons.....trump just pardoned his son in laws jailed father

...to be continued

 

[Andy™]

motorway services fuel prices

normall id agree, but have you seen the fuel prices at skelton lake? same as everywhere non motorway. but for every other, they are a rip off

 

[Murdoch]

motorway services fuel prices

I mean, who (except those with company provided fuel cards) actually use them? Its not hard to fill up before you leave at your local cheap station!

 

[phil d]

I mean, who (except those with company provided fuel cards) actually use them? Its not hard to fill up before you leave at your local cheap station!

my fuel is really cheap at the moment, 0.00p per litre, I agree with a lot of the comments made though about things that wind you up, particulary ethnicity in adverts, why the grape has almost every advert got a black man and a white woman in it, are they trying to make it look as though mixed race marriages are in the majority!, there was one with a black dad, a white mum and 2 kids, one with blonde hair, obviously adopted, lol. I'm waiting for the ultimate mixed race advert, it's a black man a white woman and two chinese children, try explaining that, oh no wait, I remember now, the bloke worked on the oil rigs and his missus lived on food from the local chinky chip shop.

I've always been a right grumpy sod, I was born like that, but loads of stuff these days annoys me, I have nothing whatsoever against gay people but why oh why is it constantly on tv, even the latest Lovehoney advert had two blokes kissing in it, we know it happens but does it have to be on tv all the time, be honest most blokes spend half their lives scratching their nuts (we're checking for lumps) but when was the last time you saw a film and there was a bloke in it scratching his dangly bits!

Ant and Dec, or Chunt and Dick as I call them really annoy me, the last time I had something that funny was when I had a boil on my left buttock, they are even more annoying than Mr Blobby, now that guy did wind me up, it took months of therapy before I could listen to the blobby song and not want to stab someone!

anyway enough of my whinging, it's Christmas after all, have a look at this, it was the song from Tony's funeral, the video is brilliant, he always liked it because he said he wasn't going to grow old gracefully, lol

 

[kerching]

And some more

LGBQTGTEBLT?....we'll be in a minority soon

Nick Knowles

Drew Pritchard....slap headed furniture fiddler 

Jay Blades...flat cap wearing glory basker 

aldi/Lidl stuffing mix

mcDonalds advert...."also,available with brownsauce"...it's BROWN.   SAUCE

Anything L.A.P.

Xmas "emergencies" from folk you have never heard of because 'their electrician has died, doesn't work Xmas, emigrated, run-off, evaporated"

Contactum 3ph boards

Ant n Dec

ASDA advert

Tesco advert

manufacturers who insist on using Chinesium and Unobtanium

YouTube Wannabe sparks who feel we need to see /give a flying  what they have been doing

manufacturers who cannot use an O ring to retain the tiniest screws on light fittings

Glitter....sparkly and diddler 

goby dwarf slap-heads

unsolicited emails from unknown/unused manufacturers wishing me a Merry Xmas and telling me their Specials

putting down tools and then not finding them for a week

seagulls ripping open bin bags

birds of a feather...

Flags hanging in the background behind Goverment ministers

wife moaning about me getting her a bag of Multi finish and a bag of Bondng for Xmas

prominently placed items on bookshelves behind ministers also.....particularly Grant Schapps

bandwagon jumpers

bicycles on pavements

bicycles with no lights usually ridden by yooooves totally dressed in black

llewellyn-Bowen....mincing fopp!

DIY SOS

Charity TV appeals....most but not all

Salvage Hunters.....ALL of the 'dealers,' they all have some personality defect especially for Television.  NO issue at all with the actual Restorers as they come across as very very skilled......it's just the 'Dealers' profiteering off their skills

the rising use of  'are' instead of 'our',  'of' instead of 'have'

Greg Wallace slap headed vegetable worrier....deserves another mention for asking a question then repeating the answer he is given BUt in shorter sentences and then laughing inanely 

 

[revjames]

You certainly of a way with words Kerch....

 

[kerching]

You certainly of a way with words Kerch....

Yes, I see what you tried to do there

 

[Geoff1946]

How about telephone help lines which waste ages of your time without actually helping! 

Just tried to call Virgin about an odd phone fault. After several levels of press 1 for......,  and confirming the phone number in question, it eventually concluded that I needed to speak to a human advisor!  Victory ?? 

No!  It now asks for three digits from a password  I've never used in years and can't remember.  WHY?  You know who I am!  It's THIS phone!