- Joined
- Dec 22, 2008
- Messages
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1) On a popular hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping".
(Darn it, that's the only time I have to dry my hair)
2) On a bag of Crisps: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(A shoplifter's special)
3) On a bar of Palmolive soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap".
(And that would be how?)
4) On some frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost".
(But, it's just a suggestion)
5) On Nanna's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down".
(Well...duh, a bit late now)
6) On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating".
(And you thought?)
7) On packaging for a iron: "Do not iron clothes on body".
(But, wouldn't this save me more time?)
8) On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication".
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents, if we could get those 5 year olds with head colds to stop driving those dumper trucks)
9) On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness".
(And...I'm taking this because?)
10) On some brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only".
(As opposed to...what?)
11) On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use".
(Now, somebody help me out on this one!)
12) On Nobby's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts".
(Talk about a news flash!)
13) On an Airline's packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts".
(Who'd have thought it?)
14) On a child's Superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly".
(I blame the parents for this one)
15) On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals".
(Was there a lot of this happening then?)
(Darn it, that's the only time I have to dry my hair)
2) On a bag of Crisps: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(A shoplifter's special)
3) On a bar of Palmolive soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap".
(And that would be how?)
4) On some frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost".
(But, it's just a suggestion)
5) On Nanna's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down".
(Well...duh, a bit late now)
6) On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating".
(And you thought?)
7) On packaging for a iron: "Do not iron clothes on body".
(But, wouldn't this save me more time?)
8) On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication".
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents, if we could get those 5 year olds with head colds to stop driving those dumper trucks)
9) On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness".
(And...I'm taking this because?)
10) On some brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only".
(As opposed to...what?)
11) On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use".
(Now, somebody help me out on this one!)
12) On Nobby's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts".
(Talk about a news flash!)
13) On an Airline's packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts".
(Who'd have thought it?)
14) On a child's Superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly".
(I blame the parents for this one)
15) On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals".
(Was there a lot of this happening then?)
