mcgaw81
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- Joined
- Feb 14, 2008
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An older, white haired man walked into a jewelry store one Friday evening with a beautiful young gal at his side.
He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend. The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring. The old man said, 'No, I'd like to see something more special.'
At that statement, the jeweler went to his special stock and brought another ring over.
'Here's a stunning ring at only $40,000.00,' the jeweler said.
The young lady's eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement. The old man seeing this said, 'We'll take it.'
The jeweler asked how payment would be made and the old man stated, 'by check.
I know you need to make sure my check is good, so I'll write it now, and you can call the bank Monday to verify the funds and I'll pick the ring up Monday afternoon,' he said.
Monday morning, the jeweler phoned the old man.
'There's no money in that account..'
'I know,' said the old man, 'But let me tell you about my weekend!'
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Proof that Men Have Better Friends . . .
Friendship among Women:
A woman didn't come home one night . The next morning she told her husband that she had slept over at a friend's house . The man called his wife's 10 best friends . None of them knew anything about it .
Friendship among Men:
A man didn't come home one night . The next morning he told his wife that he had slept over at a friend's house . The woman called her husband's 10 best friends . Eight confirmed that he had slept over, and two said he was still there
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2009 Contract
After serious & cautious consideration....your contract of friendship has been renewed for the New Year 2009!
It was a very hard decision to make, so try not to screw it up!!!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
My Wish for You in 2009
**May peace break into your house and may thieves come to steal your debts.
**May the pockets of your jeans become a magnet for $100 bills.
**May love stick to your face like Vaseline and may laughter assault your lips!
**May your clothes smell of success like smoking tires and may happiness slap you across the face and may your tears be that of joy.
**May the problems you had, leave your home address!
In simple words...
May 2009 be the best year of your life!!!
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A woman and a man are involved in a car accident on a snowy, cold Monday morning;
it's a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished, but amazingly neither of them is hurt.
God works in mysterious ways.
After they crawl out of their cars, the man is yelling about women drivers.
The woman says, 'So, you're a man. That's interesting. I'm a woman.
Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but we're unhurt.
This must be a sign from God that we should be friends and live in peace for the rest of our days.'
Flattered, the man replies, 'Oh yes, I agree completely, this must be a sign from God!
But you're still at fault...women shouldn't be allowed to drive.'
The woman continues, 'And look at this, here's another miracle.
My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break.
Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune.'
She hands the bottle to the man. The man nods his head in agreement,
opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman.
The woman takes the bottle, puts the cap back on and hands it back to the man.
The man asks, 'Aren't you having any?'
The woman replies, 'No. I think I'll just wait for the police.'
MORAL OF THE STORY:
Women are clever, evil people.
Don't mess with them.
hope these at least made you smile..
He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend. The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring. The old man said, 'No, I'd like to see something more special.'
At that statement, the jeweler went to his special stock and brought another ring over.
'Here's a stunning ring at only $40,000.00,' the jeweler said.
The young lady's eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement. The old man seeing this said, 'We'll take it.'
The jeweler asked how payment would be made and the old man stated, 'by check.
I know you need to make sure my check is good, so I'll write it now, and you can call the bank Monday to verify the funds and I'll pick the ring up Monday afternoon,' he said.
Monday morning, the jeweler phoned the old man.
'There's no money in that account..'
'I know,' said the old man, 'But let me tell you about my weekend!'
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Proof that Men Have Better Friends . . .
Friendship among Women:
A woman didn't come home one night . The next morning she told her husband that she had slept over at a friend's house . The man called his wife's 10 best friends . None of them knew anything about it .
Friendship among Men:
A man didn't come home one night . The next morning he told his wife that he had slept over at a friend's house . The woman called her husband's 10 best friends . Eight confirmed that he had slept over, and two said he was still there
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
2009 Contract
After serious & cautious consideration....your contract of friendship has been renewed for the New Year 2009!
It was a very hard decision to make, so try not to screw it up!!!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
My Wish for You in 2009
**May peace break into your house and may thieves come to steal your debts.
**May the pockets of your jeans become a magnet for $100 bills.
**May love stick to your face like Vaseline and may laughter assault your lips!
**May your clothes smell of success like smoking tires and may happiness slap you across the face and may your tears be that of joy.
**May the problems you had, leave your home address!
In simple words...
May 2009 be the best year of your life!!!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
A woman and a man are involved in a car accident on a snowy, cold Monday morning;
it's a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished, but amazingly neither of them is hurt.
God works in mysterious ways.
After they crawl out of their cars, the man is yelling about women drivers.
The woman says, 'So, you're a man. That's interesting. I'm a woman.
Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but we're unhurt.
This must be a sign from God that we should be friends and live in peace for the rest of our days.'
Flattered, the man replies, 'Oh yes, I agree completely, this must be a sign from God!
But you're still at fault...women shouldn't be allowed to drive.'
The woman continues, 'And look at this, here's another miracle.
My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break.
Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune.'
She hands the bottle to the man. The man nods his head in agreement,
opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman.
The woman takes the bottle, puts the cap back on and hands it back to the man.
The man asks, 'Aren't you having any?'
The woman replies, 'No. I think I'll just wait for the police.'
MORAL OF THE STORY:
Women are clever, evil people.
Don't mess with them.
hope these at least made you smile..
