Few jokes

[m4tty]

Walkers mystery flavour crisps ! 2 me they taste like my ex wifes 'jack and Danny' At first i thought it was just my imagination but everyone in the pub says the same!

I was telling a girl in the pub about my uncanny ability to guess what day a woman was born on just by feeling their breasts.

"Really?" she said, "Go on then...try."

After about 30 seconds of fondling she began to lose patience.

"Come on," she demanded, "What day was I born?". I said "F'in

Yesterday?"

Be careful! Went into B&Q earlier some guy in a Black shirt and Orange apron asked me if I wanted decking! Luckily enough I got the first punch in and sorted the tw@ out, those less suspecting might not be so lucky!

 

[Nicky Tesla]

my grandad ended up in hospital after getting a massage. The treatment was that he had goose fat rubbed all over his back. After that he went downhill very quickly.

 

[Jay Black]

I hope site humour is allowed.

If a electrician is a sparky

A carpenters a chippy

What's a plumber

An overpaid tw@t who's never on site when you need him to be.

 

[ProDave]

If a electrician is a sparky

A carpenters a chippy

What's a plumber

On the same vein, he must be a drippy

But they don't like it when you call them that.

 

[septiclecky]

my grandad ended up in hospital after getting a massage. The treatment was that he had goose fat rubbed all over his back. After that he went downhill very quickly.

Been listening to Milton Jones have we?

 

[batty]

On the same vein, he must be a drippyBut they don't like it when you call them that.

Better of calling them by there first name and following it with the leak all the ones I know seem to have plenty of leaks mostly the push fit stuff they use usually.