Girlfriend

[phil d]

My mate has dumped his girlfriend, apparently she wanted to have sex in boots," there's nothing wrong with that" I told him, "there is when it's boots the chemist" he replied.

 

[bluetobits]

Better than having sex in Boyes i suppose

 

[Richard-the-Ninth]

 

[Blue Duck]

After 5 years with my girlfriend, I decided it was time to tie the knot.

Hopefully the gag stays on too and I can finally get some peace.

:facepalm:

 

[pewter]

No one tells jokes anymore.

20-30 year ago, it was all about the jokes.

Now its all look at this video of people hurting themselves or girls gagging .....

 

[phil d]

No one tells jokes anymore.

20-30 year ago, it was all about the jokes.

Now its all look at this video of people hurting themselves or girls gagging .....

I think it's down to all this political correctness, people are so afraid of offending someone, it's a shame really, people need to chill out a bit.

2 Jewish blokes walking down the road and a bunch of skinheads are coming the other way, one says to the other, "here, it looks like we're going to get mugged". the other replies, "yes, by the way here's that tenner I owe you"

An Englishman an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a pub, the landlord asked, "hey what's this, a joke" .

A plane gets into difficulties and the pilot announces they need to lose weight to gain height, they throw everything out but it's still not enough, the Englishman jumps up " GOD SAVE THE QUEEN" he yells, and jumps out of the door, the Frenchman leaps up, "VIVE LA FRANCE" and he jumps out of the door, still they need to lose weight, the American stands up, "REMEMBER THE ALAMO" he shouts, and chucks out the Mexican!

 

[Blue Duck]

I dunno, there's still some out there who are avoiding  political correctness...

 

[phil d]

I'm proud to be politically incorrect! If people lightened up a little things would be a lot pleasanter, now it's gone so daft there's people out there who'll be offended on your behalf!

I mean what's it coming to? If someone jokingly calls a Welshman, Taffy. or an Irishman paddy where's the problem if it isn't offending them? these days there's probably more straight people arguing for gay rights than there are gay people arguing, why? If the gay community is happy, leave em alone, there's no need for some loony liberal to go all lone ranger and start fighting a cause that doesn't bother them, is there?

I remember a bloke once telling me about the bloke in his local newsagent, he was coloured and everybody called him Paki Stan, one day somebody heard him being called this and jumped un necessarily to the blokes defence, the newsagent just laughed, "doesn't it offend you being called Paki Stan" asked the other bloke,  "no it's quite funny actually" he replied, "you see my names Stan and I come from Pakistan".

How true it was I don't know, for all we know it could have been a tongue in cheek wind up of the locals.

 

[kerching]

I know someone called Cane Stan....now he IS an irritating ..................

 

[phil d]

an Essex bird meets an Irish labourer and notices he's got L+R written on his wellies, she asks why and he tells her it's so he knows which way they fit on his feet.

She replies "oh I see, so that's why it has C + A in my knickers"

 

[Doc Hudson]

an Essex bird meets an Irish labourer and notices he's got L+R written on his wellies, she asks why and he tells her it's so he knows which way they fit on his feet.

She replies "oh I see, so that's why it has C + A in my knickers"

If you are going to tell old jokes at least try to write them correctly,  'C&A' not 'C + A'  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/C%26A  probably at least 17years since that joke has had much relevance. "the last UK retail stores closed in 2001"

Doc H.

 

[phil d]

If you are going to tell old jokes at least try to write them correctly,  'C&A' not 'C + A'  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/C%26A  probably at least 17years since that joke has had much relevance. "the last UK retail stores closed in 2001"

Doc H.

Yes, but us old people still remember, lol

 

[Sharpend]

Yes, but us old people still remember, lol

Just not as correct as they should though!