Jokes :)

a2 · Feb 24, 2009

<TABLE cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=5 width="100%" border=0><TBODY><TR><TD>Are you a regular nuisance?

No, I have other jobs.

</TD></TR><TR><TD>Boss: Are you afraid of hard work?

Employee: No, I'm afraid of any work.

</TD></TR><TR><TD>Boss: Aren't you familiar with company policy?

Worker: No, familiarity breeds contempt.

</TD></TR><TR><TD>Boss: Did you cut yourself?

Employee: No, I fell asleep on a chain saw.

</TD></TR><TR><TD>Boss: Did you take work home?

Employee: Why? I don't do any here.

</TD></TR><TR><TD>Boss: How come you're never in at the same time twice?

Worker: I'm no clockwatcher.

</TD></TR><TR><TD>Boss: It says on your job application you were a servant in a restricted facility. What does that mean?

Applicant: I was serving time.

</TD></TR><TR><TD>Boss: Why are you against the four day work week?

Worker: I'm against any week that has work in it.

</TD></TR><TR><TD>Boss: Why are you always late for work?

Worker: I'm the model of consistency.

</TD></TR><TR><TD>Boss: Why are you always outside when you should be in here working?

Employee: You said it was important to work out.

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a2 · Feb 24, 2009

More jokes

<TABLE cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=5 width="100%" border=0><TBODY><TR><TD>Boss: Why are you doing your nails?

Employee: You told me to do some filing.

</TD></TR><TR><TD>Boss: Why are you dressed like a cowboy?

Worker: You said you'd show us the ropes.

</TD></TR><TR><TD>Boss: Why are you dressed like a lumberjack?

Employee: I heard I was getting the ax today.

</TD></TR><TR><TD>Boss: Why are you sleeping at your desk?

Employee: It's more comfortable than the filing cabinet.

</TD></TR><TR><TD>Boss: Why are you sleeping in there?

Worker: They call it the rest room, don't they?

</TD></TR><TR><TD>Boss: Why are you so early this morning?

Worker: I'm not. I'm really late for yesterday.

</TD></TR><TR><TD>Boss: Why are you throwing those ledgers in the air?

Accountant: You told me to juggle the books.

</TD></TR><TR><TD>Boss: Why aren't you ever in the office?

Employee: Because you'd find me there.

</TD></TR><TR><TD>Boss: Why did you leave your last job?

Applicant: The witness protection program relocated me.

</TD></TR><TR><TD>Boss: Why didn't you work on the growth chart?

Employee: Because I'm not going to grow any taller.

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a2 · Feb 24, 2009

Even more jokes

<TABLE cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=5 width="100%" border=0><TBODY><TR><TD>Boss: Why didn't you work on the proposals?

Employee: I'm already married.

</TD></TR><TR><TD>Boss: Why do you always have an excuse for everything?

Employee: I spend the whole day thinking them up.

</TD></TR><TR><TD>Boss: Why do you always spend so much time at the water cooler?

Worker: If I didn't I'd have to work.

</TD></TR><TR><TD>Boss: Why do you keep calling in sick?

Worker: It's my best excuse.

</TD></TR><TR><TD>Boss: Why don't you invest in the company?

Employee: With workers like me you'd never make any money.

</TD></TR><TR><TD>Boss: Why don't you take a vacation?

Employee: I've been on one since you hired me.

</TD></TR><TR><TD>Boss: Why don't you want to be employee of the month?

Employee: That means I'd have to work for 30 days.

</TD></TR><TR><TD>Boss: Why don't you want to go up the corporate ladder?

Employee: I'm afraid of heights.

</TD></TR><TR><TD>Boss: Why haven't you finished your work?

Employee: I'm no slave to management.

</TD></TR><TR><TD>Boss: Why is there oil on your arms?

Employee: You told me to use a little elbow grease.

.

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a2 · Feb 24, 2009

<TABLE cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=5 width="100%" border=0><TBODY><TR><TD>And finally

Boss: Why is your expense account so high?

Salesman: I don't want people to think you're cheap.

</TD></TR><TR><TD>Boss: Why is your face bandaged?

Worker: You told me to put my nose to the grindstone.

</TD></TR><TR><TD>Boss: You know there are plenty of people who'd love to have your job.

Worker: That's because love is blind.

</TD></TR><TR><TD>Editor: How can you paint a true picture of life in Tibet? You've never been there.

Writer: Neither have my readers.

</TD></TR><TR><TD>Employee: Why did you move me up to the fourteenth floor?

Boss: You said you wanted a raise.

</TD></TR><TR><TD>Employee: Why won't you let me take another part-time job?

Boss: You only work part of the time here as it is.

</TD></TR><TR><TD>Farmer: Why is the pail empty? Didn't the cow give anything?

Worker: Sure. Nine quarts and a kick.

</TD></TR><TR><TD>First Farmer: I got a job on a farm selling corn.

Second Farmer: But aren't you allergic to corn?

First Farmer: Yeah, but