Saturdays drama

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phil d

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I was attacked by a mad swan on saturday, my mate has a private lake on his farm and he's put loads  ducks etc on it, recently he got some black swans and one is rabid. It always goes for me, on Saturday it ambushed me and I wasn't even near the lake, they all thought it was funny, until it attacked him as he was on the lake trying to change a fountain head.

 
I've been burnt by a Swan more times than I can remember. 

Used to cover their heads in tin foil and chuck 'em on the fire...BANG!

 
More amusing when "pimped" with a bit of weedkiller and sugar  baddayexplode


We used to spend hours as kids shaving the heads off and packing them in spent 7.62mm casings. Mini cannon! So dangerous it beggars belief now.

 
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Someone always brings that up ....I thought the same myself .     As kids , if we went to the park  someone would , without fail , watch out for the swans  they can break your arm. 
It's one of those myths I'm afraid, when you look at the bone construction of a swan they are rather like a honeycomb, they are designed for flight rather than fight, as far as I know there are no known cases of people having arms broken by swans, maybe they fell and broke an arm running away and told someone the swan broke it so sound more macho?

 
We used to spend hours as kids shaving the heads off and packing them in spent 7.62mm casings. Mini cannon! So dangerous it beggars belief now.


 Vestas not actual swans lol.

When I were a lad I used to go to my cousins in deepest darkest Yorkshire and we'd go to the abandoned mill that the locals used as a firing range and pick up the unspent rounds and take them back to his house and try to get them to go off with a hammer! :eek: WTGrape were we doing!? :lol:

 
I remember a mate of mine, he was over the slag heaps and he found some explosive, I think it was a blasting cap. Well he'd took it home and he kept looking at it, and hitting it, but it wouldn't go off (luckily), they had a coal fire and as he was about to go out he threw it onto the fire, thinking it was a dud, his dad came in and put some coal on, my mate walked out. He said he'd just got to the gate and there was a massive bang! He ran back in and the living room was full of soot, his dad was stood in front of the fire, a poker in his hand, shaking.

"I only poked it, I only poked it, there was no need for it to do that" he kept repeating.

My mate said his dad was in shock for hours, and it backfired on him too, although his dad never found out about the blasting cap, he flatly refused to have anything to do with the coal fire ever again. It became my mate's job to light it and clean it out every day.

 
I think we all do these barmy things as kids .     The last year of junior school  , so must have been 11  I took a hand grenade in to show to  some classmates .  I don't know how I got hold of the thing  TBH,  but it was a real WW2  jobby  complete with the pin that you pull out , holding the activating lever down .

It was however safe,  it had a slot hacksawed in it , the bottom unscrewed and it was turned into a money box .   

I didn't know that the teacher would open all the desks at breaktime to collect books ,  first I knew was the school was evacuated and the Fire Brigade came piling in .  

Can't remember much else TBH .

 
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