There Are Some Things Its Best Not To Tackle ..........

[Evans Electric]

..........and one of them is replacing the duvet cover .

Over the years I have wired new hospitals ,  schools , office buildings , department stores, factories.    Re-sited factories, worked on 1000 ton cold extrusion presses , high frequency furnaces , huge lighting towers on  the docks , converted old cab operated  100ton overhead cranes to radio control etc  etc etc  ............. 

............... but ****** changing duvet covers . 

I finaly gave up when I found myself buried  inside the damn thing ,  trying to push the duvet into the corners , as  instructed ,,  (" Its quite easy")   and was joined by the dog  who obviously  thought I had invented a new game  . :C

It also seems that I am incapable of closing curtains correctly  :C      I thought the object of the exercise was to shut out the outside world,  but no ,   they don't have to overlap where they meet ..... and there must be these mysterious   "Gathers"     apparently ... it seems that blokes can't do.... "Gathers"  ...... these "Gathers"   have to be equally spaced ...then twitched and titivated with until correct . 

 

[Sharpend]

You having an affair with my missus?

 

[binky]

several thousand from that description. :slap

 

[ProDave]

You will be telling us next that you have been putting the towels in the tumble dryer after washing them, otherwise they are not fluffy enough.

 

[kerching]

Cooms sytems, neywork installation, line work, climbing poles, cable jointing live and dead, factory, commercial, domestic, wiring Victorian horse drawn Landaus worth 10s of thousands £, shopfitting, cave diving, 120m dives taking 5 hours....none of these are /were given a second thought


SOFT FURNISHINGS AND BEDDING! WTF is going on here.

I got remonstrated with because there was a 0.00000000000001 Angstrom of a gap in the bedroom curtains and it awoke the Kraken!

Curtain tie-backs.?.....do NOT even go there

 

[NozSpark]

You will be telling us next that you have been putting the towels in the tumble dryer after washing them, otherwise they are not fluffy enough.

You've obviously been spending a but of time at our house too

 

[Evans Electric]

Cooms sytems, neywork installation, line work, climbing poles, cable jointing live and dead, factory, commercial, domestic, wiring Victorian horse drawn Landaus worth 10s of thousands £, shopfitting, cave diving, 120m dives taking 5 hours....none of these are /were given a second thought

SOFT FURNISHINGS AND BEDDING! WTF is going on here.

I got remonstrated with because there was a 0.00000000000001 Angstrom of a gap in the bedroom curtains and it awoke the Kraken!

Curtain tie-backs.?.....do NOT even go there

:^O

 

[misssweden]

Deke, the easiest way is to turn the duvet inside out, put your hands through the hole at the bottom and when your hands are at the top corners grab the corners of the duvet and fold the cover back over it. Easy!

 

[kerching]

Easier way than that, much easier AND it will always be PERFECT......

I brew up

Wife changes duvet cover

Job done

 

[Evans Electric]

Deke, the easiest way is to turn the duvet inside out, put your hands through the hole at the bottom and when your hands are at the top corners grab the corners of the duvet and fold the cover back over it. Easy!

You don't have to crawl inside it then  ? 

 

[misssweden]

Easier way than that, much easier AND it will always be PERFECT......

I brew up

Wife changes duvet cover

Job done

You win! that is by far the easiest way. But unless Scarlett Johansson decides that I'm the love of her life, I'll never have a wife. So guess I'm stuck with changing the duvet covers...

You don't have to crawl inside it then  ?

Unless you're playing hide and seek with the duvet - no!

(" - So Sweedy, what do you consider your most important contribution to the forum this year?"

" - Well, it was that one time when I taught Deke how to change a duvet cover...")

:slap

 

[kerching]

A real man would not have to ask....as She should already have changed the duvet cover.

Q....how many men does it take to open a beer?

A...none,,as it should already have been opened when she brings it to,you

Simples

 

[misssweden]

A real man would not have to ask....as She should already have changed the duvet cover.

Q....how many men does it take to open a beer?

A...none,,as it should already have been opened when she brings it to,you

Simples

Haha! Unless it's me bringing you the beer, because if I have to open it I'll drink it too

 

[sprocketflup]

Deke, you've obviously not read the discarded packaging that Mrs deke chucks in the bin after buying said bedding conundrum, their full name is actually 'Professor Rubik's Headscratching Mindfark Duvet Covers'

it all makes sense

 

[Marvo]

Leave the toilet seat up then she won't even notice that the curtains aren't hanging correctly. If you want to avoid her noticing the toilet seat is up as well then after you've washed your hands shake the drips liberally around the toilet so it looks like you've peed on the floor.

 

[binky]

naughty boy marvo :slap

cushions, more cushions, and more bleeding cushions cos we changed the curtains an the old ones don't colour co-ordinate. never mind the cutlery doesn't match the kitchen tiles....

 

[ProDave]

Ah yes, cushions.  Take one perfectly good sofa, chosen in the shop because it was comfortable to sit on, and put cushions on it.

When I'm on the sofa, the cushions are on the floor.  Another one of life's most pointless inventions. Up there a close second to curtain tie backs

 

[misssweden]

Yep, cushions are definately up there. Along with sinks that don't have mixer taps.

 

[kerching]

Yep, cushions are definately up there. Along with sinks that don't have mixer taps.

I was on a job a while ago. Client decided to fit kitchen himself.

Bought a sink and a half....you know the ones?...big sink next to a smaller one in the same pressing

Fitted two standard taps!

I kid you not.....hot into left sink, cold into right sink

Would he admit his mistake?.....would he fu..............

 

[misssweden]

Further proof that some people only exist on this planet in order to make the rest of us look good...