What annoys the wife (Be honest)

[Evans Electric]

Deke that should have gone ages ago IMO.

I know but it means travelling back in time to the sixties, finding my 17 yr old mates, getting p****d out of our heads,and finding a tattooist who will work on gang of comatose youths. Not a great fan of needles so its staying I'm afraid. They make nasty mess removing them ! :_|

Actually my Jennifer Aniston screensaver causes more grief, along with the curtains. For some reason I just don't get curtains,the way I see it you close 'em when it gets dark and open 'em in the morning . But theres much more to it than that, apparently, you have to keep titivating with them, getting them equal, pulling gathers into them, tweek a bit here , pull a bit back the other way, make sure the nets are not caught up behind them. "What on earth they must look like after you've drawn them I can't imagine!!"

On the screensaver its " I see that cow is back on the screen , like she might think of running away with a Brummie electrician in an old BT van !"

Well you never know, do you , that Pitt bloke is off the scene so who knows.

Deke

 

[Evans Electric]

If she was a good sport she'd just change her name by deed poll

Don't even think about it !!

 

[a1]

reminds me of this:A sweet grandmother telephoned St. Joseph's Hospital. She timidly asked 'Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?'

The operator said, 'I'll be glad to help, dear. What's the name and room number?'

The grandmother in her weak, tremulous voice said, 'Katie Findlay, Room 69'.

The operator replied, 'Let me place you on hold while I check with her nurse.'

After a few minutes the operator returned to the phone and said, 'Good news. Her nurse has told me that Katie is doing very well. Her blood pressure is fine. Her blood test just came back as normal, and her physician, Dr. Sutherland, has scheduled her to be discharged Tuesday'.

The grandmother said, 'Thank you. That's wonderful! I was so worried. God bless you for the good news.'

The operator replied, 'You're more than welcome. Is Katie your daughter?'

The grandmother said, 'No - I'm Katie Findlay in Room 69. No one tells me **** all here.'

PMSL. You have a scoob for that one.

:^O :^O:^O

 

[SPECIAL LOCATION]

For some reason I just don't get curtains,the way I see it you close 'em when it gets dark and open 'em in the morning . But theres much more to it than that, apparently, you have to keep titivating with them, getting them equal, pulling gathers into them, tweek a bit here , pull a bit back the other way, make sure the nets are not caught up behind them. "What on earth they must look like after you've drawn them I can't imagine!!" Deke

Curtains I have leaned, actually need a City & Guilds qualification to shut them properly..

the creases MUST be equidistant!

They must NOT be resting on the widow sill..

They MUST be centred correctly

and it is best checked with a calibrated RCD tester..

Residual Curtain Difference..

width of left curtain minus width of right curtain.

should be no greater than 5mm:O;\ ; \

 

[irishsailor]

Me arriving in from work annoys her!! Up at 6am every morning get in about 5pm, college, Tues and Thursday 6-9. Do chinese delivery on Friday and Sat night to earn extra cash. but still Im a lazy B*****d!!

Tell you what annoys me is her fat mother sat there manking at me when I get in!!

 

[a2]

Me arriving in from work annoys her!! Up at 6am every morning get in about 5pm, college, Tues and Thursday 6-9. Do chinese delivery on Friday and Sat night to earn extra cash. but still Im a lazy B*****d!!Tell you what annoys me is her fat mother sat there manking at me when I get in!!

irish thats not a nice thing to say.

 

[ryan.carr.85]

Not turning the pillows upside down before bed, so that the pillow that was on the bottom is now on the top.....stops the pillows that are on show becoming worn..apparently!

 

[SPECIAL LOCATION]

Not turning the pillows upside down before bed, so that the pillow that was on the bottom is now on the top.....stops the pillows that are on show becoming worn..apparently!

:^O

you don't have to turn the mattress as well to even out the wear on the springs!!

I assume Towels have to be correctly folded over the towel rail?? ?:|

 

[Evans Electric]

Me arriving in from work annoys her!! Up at 6am every morning get in about 5pm, college, Tues and Thursday 6-9. Do chinese delivery on Friday and Sat night to earn extra cash. but still Im a lazy B*****d!!Tell you what annoys me is her fat mother sat there manking at me when I get in!!

What does " Manking " mean , Irish. ? ]

 

[Evans Electric]

Curtains I have leaned, actually need a City & Guilds qualification to shut them properly..the creases MUST be equidistant!

They must NOT be resting on the widow sill..

They MUST be centred correctly

and it is best checked with a calibrated RCD tester..

Residual Curtain Difference..

width of left curtain minus width of right curtain.

should be no greater than 5mm:O;\ ; \

You said it Specs !! :| :|

 

[ryan.carr.85]

:^Oyou don't have to turn the mattress as well to even out the wear on the springs!!

I assume Towels have to be correctly folded over the towel rail?? ?:|

dont get me started on towels, she has "show towels"!

 

[a2]

dont get me started on towels, she has "show towels"!

Its compulsory for females to own show towels

 

[Theorysparky]

Its compulsory for females to own show towels

what ?????

we dont have them ........

so i cant be living with a female then ?????

 

[Theorysparky]

what do you do then when you have guests to stay and do not have a guest room

do you give them your bed and you sleep on the sofa bed

or do they get the sofa bed ????

 

[a2]

what do you do then when you have guests to stay and do not have a guest roomdo you give them your bed and you sleep on the sofa bed

or do they get the sofa bed ????

Neither,

no-one is dull enough to stay over in a house full of kids. :^O

 

[a2]

what ?????we dont have them ........

so i cant be living with a female then ?????

The missus has never said, "dont use that towel, its just for show"?

Dont let her read this then, coz she'll start doing it. :^O

 

[SPECIAL LOCATION]

what ?????we dont have them ........

so i cant be living with a female then ?????

Well I thought you stayed with your pigs in your cave?? ?:| ? :|

 

[kme]

:SWe`ve got tidy towels "for good"; i.e. when we`ve guests, or when I`m not working, and coming home black as kittys bumhole!

NOBODY sleeps in our bed, and gawd `elp anyone who tried to turn it over. 77 gallons of water weighs a bit!!!!! :x :O

AD2: Mrs. KME wishes me to inform you that we don`t have show towels, and never will.

What do I do to annoy Mrs. KME? As little as possible - which is reciprocated:x:x:x:x:x

 

[SPECIAL LOCATION]

What things do you do that annoy the wife. Wonder if we will see a pattern forming. I seem to have many , here are nine to start the thread.Deke

Farting? Blushing:|

 

[Theorysparky]

Well I thought you stayed with your pigs in your cave?? ?:| ? :|

i love my pigs