Whats your jokes ?

[kung]

THE WEDDING

I was a very happy man. My wonderful girlfriend

and I had been dating for over a year, and so we

decided to get married. There was only one

little thing bothering me....It was her beautiful

younger sister.

My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very

tight miniskirts, and generally was bra-less. She

would regularly bend down when she was near

me, and I always got more than a nice view.. It had to

be deliberate. Because she never did it when she was

near anyone else.

One day her 'little' sister called and asked me to

come over to check the wedding invitations. She was

alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she

had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't

overcome. She told me that she wanted me just once

before I got married and committed my life to her sister.

Well, I was in total shock, and couldn't say a word.

She said, 'I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if

you want one last wild fling, just come up and get me.'

I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go

up the stairs. I stood there for a moment, then turned

and made a beeline straight to the front door. I

opened the door, and headed straight towards my car.

Lo and behold, my entire future family was standing

outside, all clapping!

With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugged me and

said, 'We are very happy that you have passed our

little test. We couldn't ask for a better

man for our daughter. Welcome to the family.'

And the moral of this story is:

Always keep your condoms in your car.

 

[Theorysparky]

i like that Applaud Smiley

 

[a1]

Very Good.

 

[Apache]

Very good

 

[kung]

And another !

A little boy comes down to breakfast. Since they live on a farm,

his mother asks if he had done his chores.

"Not yet," said the little boy.

His mother tells him no breakfast until he does his chores.

Well, he's a little ****ed, so he goes to feed the chickens, and he kicks a chicken.

He goes to feed the cows, and he kicks a heffer.

He goes to feed the pigs, and he kicks a sow.

He goes back in for breakfast and his mother gives him a bowl of dry cereal.

"How come I don't get any eggs and bacon? Why don't I have any milk

in my cereal?" he asks.

"Well," his mother says, "I saw you kick a chicken, so you don't get

any eggs for a week. I saw you kick the pig, so you don't get any

bacon for a week either. I also saw you kick the cow, so for a week

you aren't getting any milk."

Just then, his father comes down for breakfast and kicks the cat

half way across the kitchen. The little boy looks up at his mother

with a smile, and says,

"Are you going to tell him, or should I?"

 

[Apache]

And another !A little boy comes down to breakfast. Since they live on a farm,

his mother asks if he had done his chores.

"Not yet," said the little boy.

His mother tells him no breakfast until he does his chores.

Well, he's a little ****ed, so he goes to feed the chickens, and he kicks a chicken.

He goes to feed the cows, and he kicks a heffer.

He goes to feed the pigs, and he kicks a sow.

He goes back in for breakfast and his mother gives him a bowl of dry cereal.

"How come I don't get any eggs and bacon? Why don't I have any milk

in my cereal?" he asks.

"Well," his mother says, "I saw you kick a chicken, so you don't get

any eggs for a week. I saw you kick the pig, so you don't get any

bacon for a week either. I also saw you kick the cow, so for a week

you aren't getting any milk."

Just then, his father comes down for breakfast and kicks the cat

half way across the kitchen. The little boy looks up at his mother

with a smile, and says,

"Are you going to tell him, or should I?"

I have heard it before but I like it

(heifer btw )

 

[kung]

Little toddler in the bath with his mum

Pointing at her muff he asks "What's that, mummy?"

She replies "That's my sponge... all mummys have them."

"I know," said the little one "...when you go to bingo, aunty Anne washes daddy's face with hers!"