Application letter / HELP

[L Plate]

>>>>> please correct this application letter if there is any wrong or if you would like to update it then please do so , I really need a strong application letter, I am going to send this to our local county council >>> thank you for your help..

July 12, 2010

Dear Sir/ Madam,

I am sending this letter to your good office hoping to fill up any vacant position that would fit to my present qualification in your firm, Please consider this as an application.

My Name is Lplate learner . I have just recently completed my Level II City and Guilds 2330 Electrotechnical qualification at Sample College and will be taking my Level III along with my wiring regulation course by September this year. I am currently connected in our local Hospital engineering Department for work experience.

I would really like to concentrate and focus my career on the electrical industry. I am looking and ready to get started as an electrician apprentice even just for a couple of days. I shouldered all my college fees since the beginning of my course, therefore, I need to work for my bills as well and this is the reason why I can only work as an apprentice for at least 2 days a week. I am positive that working in your busy department along with your qualified electrician will help me to gain my full qualification in 2330 NVQ Electrotechnical.

Hoping to hear from you soon.

Respectfully yours,

Alec Trician

 

[green-hornet]

>>>>> please correct this application letter if there is any wrong or if you would like to update it then please do so , I really need a strong application letter, I am going to send this to our local county council >>> thank you for your help..July 12, 2010

Dear Sir/ Madam,

I am sending this letter to your good office hoping to fill up any vacant position that would fit to my present qualification in your firm, Please consider this as an application.

Remove all of the above

Insert.

I am writing in regard to current or prospective vacancies within your department.

My Name is Lplate learner . I have just recently completed my Level II City and Guilds 2330 Electrotechnical qualification at Sample College and will be taking my Level III along with my wiring regulation course by September this year. I am currently connected in our local Hospital engineering Department for work experience.

The following will have to be re written as you are by the looks of it asking for a part time apprenticeship

I would really like to concentrate and focus my career on the electrical industry. I am looking and ready to get started as an electrician apprentice even just for a couple of days. I shouldered all my college fees since the beginning of my course, therefore, I need to work for my bills as well and this is the reason why I can only work as an apprentice for at least 2 days a week. I am positive that working in your busy department along with your qualified electrician will help me to gain my full qualification in 2330 NVQ Electrotechnical.

Hoping to hear from you soon.

Respectfully yours,

Alec Trician

Most applications will go stright in the bin if they are not to the point. You have to sell yourself in the first paragraph.

I would start the letter with your name followed by your qualifications and how you got them. Apply for the position you want ie electrician mate/apprentice, and let them decide what if any hours you will be able to do, if you get an interview you could discuss any problems etc then, but you need to get there first.

 

[Apache]

What GH said, but see if you can find the name of the person you are applying to and why you specifically want to work for them. Look on the website and make it personal to them.

 

[L Plate]

Most applications will go stright in the bin if they are not to the point. You have to sell yourself in the first paragraph.I would start the letter with your name followed by your qualifications and how you got them. Apply for the position you want ie electrician mate/apprentice, and let them decide what if any hours you will be able to do, if you get an interview you could discuss any problems etc then, but you need to get there first.

Good evening GH,

thank you for your info. ( to be honest I don't have a clue where to start ) but i will re-write this one ..

thanks again Sir

 

[SPECIAL LOCATION]

As GH has said...

also try and find out specifically which departments within the council have electrical employees..

i.e. do they employ all their own contractors or do they sub contract out to other firms?

Try & find out any specific areas that may match with any experience you already have?

e.g.

Domestic "Council Houses"

Schools - public buildings

Street lighting

etc..

etc..

The bottom line that is completely missing from your letter is again something GH mentioned..

You Have Got To SELL yourself!

a majority of what your letter talks about is what you are going to get out of a prospective employer.. Nothing about what you can offer a prospective employer!

Consider it this way...

If you are running your own business and you get various applications from people wanting to work for you...

You as an employer are going to invest you own hard earned money into someone else..

If the only benefits gained go to the new employee why on earth would you want to give away you own money just to benefit someone else!?

Fundamental business principle invest

 

[a1]

As per what the others have said - I wasn't impressed TBH when I read your letter.

I used to be like that, although I am better now, I am nowhere near "A great letter writter".

What you also have to remember is NOT to put too much ifo into the letter as the reader will get bored. Not only that, you have to keep some info for the actual info.

Also, make sure you do your homework and find out, as Specs says, to write to the relevant department AND to the right person. (Always impresses them when you write to them direct, using their name - It shows you have gone out of your way).

Maybe worth mentioning that you would be happy to work on a "Trial Period" to prove how committed you are? (The reason is also ideal because, the majority of councils take people on, on temporary contracts anyway).

Hope this helps, Admin.

 

[Apache]

I used to be like that, although I am better now, I am nowhere near "A great letter writter".

That's good.....

Not only that, you have to keep some info for the actual info.

You sure that's what you mean?

Also, make sure you do your homework and find out, as Specs says, to write to the relevant department AND to the right person.

see if you can find the name of the person you are applying to

Erm actually it was mentioned before SL

:coatWet Fish:innocent

 

[a1]

That's good.....You sure that's what you mean?

No, It's not. But you knew what I meant, and I am sure Lplate will too, But for anyone who didn't... I meant "You want to save some info for the interview" should you be lucky enough to get one.

Else, you will be stuck on things to say or tell the interviewer about.

Erm actually it was mentioned before SL

:coatWet Fish:innocent

Yes I know, I meant to add that too, but I forgot, Sorry Patch.

:coat

 

[Apache]

Yes I know, I meant to add that too, but I forgot, Sorry Patch. :coat

you know I'm only leg pulling

 

[a1]

I know, But I did forget to give you a mention. :_|

 

[kme]

O/P

One part of GH`s advice I would differ on:

DO NOT start any letter with "I am writing".

Of course you are. You don`t need to tell them you`re writing. They know, `cos they`re reading. If you`ve seen an advert for a position:

"With reference to your advertisement for the position of xxxxxxxxxx".

If you`re just touting for a placement:

" I would like to be considered for a position within your electrical department, if you have any availability".

Your letter style was very polite; but a little too "flowery". "Your good office" is something that would have been used a few decades ago, but not now.

As others have said: simple, easy to read, grammatically correct, with no spelling mistakes. Try re-writing it, using the advice from other forumites and myself, and re-post. Then we can critique again, and you`ll probably understand the points being made.

HTH

KME

 

[green-hornet]

O/POne part of GH`s advice I would differ on:

DO NOT start any letter with "I am writing".

Of course you are. You don`t need to tell them you`re writing. They know, `cos they`re reading. If you`ve seen an advert for a position:

"With reference to your advertisement for the position of xxxxxxxxxx".

If you`re just touting for a placement:

" I would like to be considered for a position within your electrical department, if you have any availability".

Your letter style was very polite; but a little too "flowery". "Your good office" is something that would have been used a few decades ago, but not now.

As others have said: simple, easy to read, grammatically correct, with no spelling mistakes. Try re-writing it, using the advice from other forumites and myself, and re-post. Then we can critique again, and you`ll probably understand the points being made.

HTH

KME

When I say I am writing, I want them to know I can write! and my mum is not doing it for me.



You are of course absolutley right, every letter should be to the point, you should never include something they already know, like " I am writing" they know you are, they are reading it.

 

[L Plate]

When I say I am writing, I want them to know I can write! and my mum is not doing it for me.

You are of course absolutley right, every letter should be to the point, you should never include something they already know, like " I am writing" they know you are, they are reading it.

Wow..what can I say :Applaud :Applaud:Applaud:Applaud to all of you who gave their advice thank you so much for your support it really give me an idea ..

It takes bit long for me to come back to read all your post because I had problem to log in to my account ... but anyway once again thank you for all your idea , I will surely re construct this letter and post it again for all your approval

at the moment please take this as my small gesture of saying thank you to all..

http://11after11jc.files.wordpress.com/2009/09/budweiser_girls-2-joanna-krupa-budweiser-friends-446.jpg

 

[L Plate]

O/POne part of GH`s advice I would differ on:

DO NOT start any letter with "I am writing".

Of course you are. You don`t need to tell them you`re writing. They know, `cos they`re reading. If you`ve seen an advert for a position:

"With reference to your advertisement for the position of xxxxxxxxxx".

If you`re just touting for a placement:

" I would like to be considered for a position within your electrical department, if you have any availability".

Your letter style was very polite; but a little too "flowery". "Your good office" is something that would have been used a few decades ago, but not now.

As others have said: simple, easy to read, grammatically correct, with no spelling mistakes. Try re-writing it, using the advice from other forumites and myself, and re-post. Then we can critique again, and you`ll probably understand the points being made.

HTH

KME

second try >>

My Name is Lplate learner . I have just recently completed my Level II City and Guilds 2330 Electrotechnical qualification at Sample College and will be taking my Level III along with my wiring regulation course by September this year. I am currently connected in our local Hospital engineering Department for work experience.

I would like to be considered for a position within your electrical department that would fit to my present qualification if you have any availability. I am willing and happy to work on a trial period without money involve as my aim is to gain more knowledge and experience in Electrical Industry.

I am confident individual with a good communication skill towards the other member of the team. An individual who is able to work alone using own initiative and without the presence of any supervisor. Helpful towards other as far as part of the job is concern. Friendly and approachable, motivated and reliable person.

I have experience in hospital maintenance work. I have Heath & Safety knowledge / qualification and fully understand dangers associated with electrical work. I have knowledge and fully understand safe isolation procedures .

I am confident I can use my little knowledge and skill and build on them to assist the numerous work environments that your department would encounter on a daily basis.

 

[kme]

See the new thread..........