Lplate's Application letter for approval

[L Plate]

please check this again ..

My Name is Lplate learner . I have just recently completed my Level II City and Guilds 2330 Electrotechnical qualification at Sample College and will be taking my Level III along with my wiring regulation course by September this year. I am currently connected in our local Hospital engineering Department for work experience.

I would like to be considered for a position within your electrical department that would fit to my present qualification if you have any availability. I am willing and happy to work on a trial period without money involve as my aim is to gain more knowledge and experience in Electrical Industry.

I am confident individual with a good communication skill towards the other member of the team. An individual who is able to work alone using own initiative. Helpful towards other as far as part of the job is concern. Friendly and approachable, motivated and reliable person.

I have experience in hospital maintenance work. I have Heath & Safety knowledge / qualification and fully understand dangers associated with electrical work. I have knowledge and fully understand safe isolation procedures .

I am confident I can use my little knowledge and skill and build on them to assist the numerous work environments that your department would encounter on a daily basis.

Respectfully yours,

Lplate

thank you all

 

[kme]

please check this again ..My Name is Lplate learner . I have just recently completed my Level II City and Guilds 2330 Electrotechnical qualification at Sample College and will be taking my Level III along with my wiring regulation course by September this year. I am currently working in our local Hospital engineering Department for work experience.

I would like to be considered for a position within your electrical department that would fit my present qualifications, if you have any availability. I am willing to work on a trial period without money involved as my aim is to gain more knowledge and experience in the electrical industry.

I am a confident individual with good communication skills towards the other member of the team. An individual who isand am able to work alone using my own initiative. I am helpful towards others, as far as part of the job is concern. ,friendly and approachable, motivated and reliable person.

I have experience in hospital maintenance work. I have Health & Safety knowledge / qualifications and fully understand the dangers associated with electrical work. I have knowledge and fully understand ; including safe isolation procedures .

I am confident I can use my little knowledge and skill and build on them to assist the numerous work environments that your department would encounter on a daily basis.

Respectfully yours,

Lplate

thank you all

My red. Remember to check & double check the spelling. Use a checker if necessary. Grammar is very important, IMO; so ensure you "stick to the rules". Don`t undersell yourself.

Good luck mate.

KME

 

[L Plate]

My red. Remember to check & double check the spelling. Use a checker if necessary. Grammar is very important, IMO; so ensure you "stick to the rules". Don`t undersell yourself.Good luck mate.

KME

thanks a lot KME , it's really a big help

 

[Apache]

please check this again ..I have swapped the first two paragraphs.

I am writing to see if you have any vacancies in would like to be considered for a position within your electrical department that would fit to my present qualifications if you have any availability. I am willing and happy to work on a trial period without money involve as my aim is to gain more knowledge and experience in Electrical Industry (should be lower case and is there a better term?).

My Name is Lplate learner . I have just recently completed my Level II City and Guilds 2330 Electrotechnical qualification at Sample College and will be taking my Level III along with my wiring regulation course by September this year. I am currently connected in our local hospital engineering department for work experience.

lower case

I am a confident individual with a good communication skills.towards the other member of the team. I am confident working within a team and on my own, An individual who is able to work alone using my own initiative. Helpful towards other as far as part of the job is concern. What? I am a friendly, reliable and approachable person , with good motivation.

sort of re-wrote the last sentance, don't understand the 2nd to last?

I have experience in hospital maintenance work. I have Heath & Safety knowledge / qualification (what?) and fully understand dangers associated with electrical work including I have knowledge and fully understand safe isolation procedures .

I am confident I can use my little (rapidly advancing?) knowledge and skills and build on them to assist the numerous work environments that your department would encounter on a daily basis.

Badly worded sentence, but I know what you mean. This needs to be specific to the actual job you want to be doing.

Respectfully yours, USE THE PROPER ENDING; either Yours sincerely or faithfully.

Lplate

thank you all

It reads very generic, just like a letter that you have printed off 20 copies and mailshot everyone in Yellow Pages. You need to do some research and make it really personal. If I received that letter I would bin it, you haven't taken any care to research me and you want me to employ you.

Please don't take me as overly critical. You MUST conform to accepted letter structure and use capital letters appropriately!

 

[L Plate]

It reads very generic, just like a letter that you have printed off 20 copies and mailshot everyone in Yellow Pages. You need to do some research and make it really personal. If I received that letter I would bin it, you haven't taken any care to research me and you want me to employ you.Please don't take me as overly critical. You MUST conform to accepted letter structure and use capital letters appropriately!

Thanks Apache , I humbly accept all the mistake. I will surely take all your advice.

Have a nice evening

 

[Apache]

KME's corrections are rather similar to mine!

With the capital letters is is only capitalised if it's the name so 'Hull Hospital' is capitalised, but the local hospital's engineering department isn't!

I'm sure you know but if you address the letter to a named person (as you should)you end:

Yours sincerely,

(Yours has a capital, sincerely doesn't!) and if you address the letter 'Dear Sir' then you end:

Yours faithfully.

When setting out you put your address at the top, then their address before the date.

Have you got a separate CV? If you do and you include it you should reference to it in the covering letter.

 

[L Plate]

KME's corrections are rather similar to mine! With the capital letters is is only capitalised if it's the name so 'Hull Hospital' is capitalised, but the local hospital's engineering department isn't!

I'm sure you know but if you address the letter to a named person (as you should)you end:

Yours sincerely,

(Yours has a capital, sincerely doesn't!) and if you address the letter 'Dear Sir' then you end:

Yours faithfully.

When setting out you put your address at the top, then their address before the date.

Have you got a separate CV? If you do and you include it you should reference to it in the covering letter.

Yea I will include my CV with this application . I got the point on "Yours sincerely" and "Yours faithfully"

Thanks again ..

 

[SPECIAL LOCATION]

Thats tons better than the first attempt m8!!!! :Salute

you are going in a better direction here!

Despite what Patch says

NEVER..NEVER...NEVER..NEVER...NEVER..NEVER...NEVER..NEVER...NEVER..NEVER...NEVER..NEVER...NEVER..NEVER...

start a letter

"I am writing" cuz all this says is "I am a Pratt, and you obviously know I have written cuz you are reading this!!!!!!"

could try..

I am enquring about any electrical vacancies....

or

I am looking for employment within...........

or

I would like to be considered for any electrical vacanies......................

or

I am looking for a placement with the electrical indiustry.......................

etc..

etc..

The first sentence MUST state what you are about/after/looking for...

you need to grab their attention at the start!

Guinness

 

[L Plate]

Thats tons better than the first attempt m8!!!! :Salute you are going in a better direction here!

Despite what Patch says

NEVER..NEVER...NEVER..NEVER...NEVER..NEVER...NEVER..NEVER...NEVER..NEVER...NEVER..NEVER...NEVER..NEVER...

start a letter

"I am writing" cuz all this says is "I am a Pratt, and you obviously know I have written cuz you are reading this!!!!!!"

could try..

I am enquring about any electrical vacancies....

or

I am looking for employment within...........

or

I would like to be considered for any electrical vacanies......................

or

I am looking for a placement with the electrical indiustry.......................

etc..

etc..

The first sentence MUST state what you are about/after/looking for...

you need to grab their attention at the start!

Guinness

Thanks a lot SL

 

[green-hornet]

With the corrections from both KME and Apache the letter is now taking shape.

Its already 100% better than your first, so well done for taking advise, remember the letter is the very first impression a prospective boss will have of you.

I get letters very similar and I agree with what Apache has said, some I get do look like a carefull drafted copy often sent to everyone.

 

[L Plate]

With the corrections from both KME and Apache the letter is now taking shape.Its already 100% better than your first, so well done for taking advise, remember the letter is the very first impression a prospective boss will have of you.

I get letters very similar and I agree with what Apache has said, some I get do look like a carefull drafted copy often sent to everyone.

Thanks a lot GH.