Soft Close Seat

[Evans Electric]

Ah the joys of the soft close toilet seat were short lived .  The initial pleasures of turning the TV off and watching it close soon paled as it started to go wrong . 

The first indication of this is to be sitting there meditating , and you are tapped on the back by the lid which starts to close of it's own volition .  :wacko:

This can be quite startling when first encountered but the constipated have found it a hidden blessing  

After six attempts at fixing it , all in vain, I discovered a small piece of plastic missing from one side which must be the secret component ,  refitted and we shall see.

 

[ProDave]

I often wonder about people with soft close lids in their own house when they visit others.

Used to just giving  it a push and exiting while it glides slowly to rest.

In a strangers house, they do the same, turn their back, then BANG the house they are visiting doesn't have a soft close lid.  Oops.

 

[kerching]

Did we not discuss this a while ago....or is mr merlot visiting?

 

[Evans Electric]

I raised it at Christmas time when there was nothing on TV  ....and great discussion developed,  but since then its gone wrong  ( B&Q)  .

Speed of close was discussed and initial applied force  and also the angle the seat would lean before descent begins ....all serious stuff !!

Or was it a Monty Python sketch ?

 

[SLIPSHOD & SLAPDASH]

I raised it at Christmas time when there was nothing on TV 

No, you lowered it    :B-

 

[kerching]

I raised it at Christmas time when there was nothing on TV  ....and great discussion developed,  but since then its gone wrong  ( B&Q)  .

Speed of close was discussed and initial applied force  and also the angle the seat would lean before descent begins ....all serious stuff !!

Or was it a Monty Python sketch ?

don't forget my dissertation on the subject of ' the manual assisted close in contribution to the closing speed of a two part seat. Addendum.....force applied to lid as opposed to force applied to seat'

 

[Robin Spark]

All of this talk about force and speed,newtons law etc... its bringing back memorys of college studies.  Lets jus hope Deke doesnt start talking about his motions  ! :coat

 

[Evans Electric]

:Applaud

don't forget my dissertation on the subject of ' the manual assisted close in contribution to the closing speed of a two part seat. Addendum.....force applied to lid as opposed to force applied to seat'

How could we forget it .......now standard reading for trainee plumbers in their OSG....  The Karzhi , Seats and Lids section 1999 .

 

[ProDave]

Forget soft close seat, how about a soft seat?

I can't remember where it was now, but we stayed at a place that had a soft cushioned padded loo seat.  Somehow it felt just wrong.

 

[NozSpark]

Was it heated as well?

 

[misssweden]

Forget soft close seat, how about a soft seat?

I can't remember where it was now, but we stayed at a place that had a soft cushioned padded loo seat.  Somehow it felt just wrong.

That sounds like it should be combined with green, fragranced loo roll (encountered that in a hotel in Ukraine, both me and my room mate just had to take some home as a souvenier :slap )

 

[SLIPSHOD & SLAPDASH]

Oh no, a woman has joined in a conversation about toilet seats, we all know what that means 

  ut the kettle on   :yawn

 

[ProDave]

Well that brings us onto the up or down question.

On the basis that men seem to pee more often than women, I argue leave it up, less wear on the "bearings"

But I never win that argument, so down it stays.

Perhaps that's the issue here that's worn out the soft close mechanism?

 

[Evans Electric]

Its made things worse Dave ,  if its left up complaints double because 'er indoors  has to wait for it to close . 

 

[misssweden]

The great thing about my current living conditions is that as it's an all-female household, the seat stays DOWN! And anyone (male or female) who has been up to go to for a pee in the middle of the night (leaving the lights off in order not to disturb other members of the household and in an attempt to not wake the brain up), would agree that a) falling arse first halfway down the toilet and b) getting a shock from cold porcelain on aforementioned arse just because some plonker had left the seat up is rather unpleasant. Therefore, seat stays down

 

[M107]

Ah yes the soft close seat.............nearly as good as the hygienic bog seat that a bar in the former W Germany had on the one & only crapper in the place..... push the button & a plastic seat cover moves round.........so blokes don't have to worry about sprinkling when they are tinkling & ladies (used in the loosest of terms for the females that frequented the place) didn't boo about the piss poor aim of gunners that frequented the place :slap .

 

[SLIPSHOD & SLAPDASH]

Ah yes the soft close seat.............nearly as good as the hygienic bog seat that a bar in the former W Germany had on the one & only crapper in the place..... push the button & a plastic seat cover moves round.........so blokes don't have to worry about sprinkling when they are tinkling & ladies (used in the loosest of terms for the females that frequented the place) didn't boo about the piss poor aim of gunners that frequented the place :slap .

Ahh yes, there used to be a video of that where someone would shat on the seat so it got smeared all the way round  

 

[kerching]

My theorem on women and bog seats is thus......men have a choice in which position they choose to adopt during the process of micturation........women do not ( unless they are extremely confident and well balanced)). So to overcome their failings they become moody

 

[misssweden]

My theorem on women and bog seats is thus......men have a choice in which position they choose to adopt during the process of micturation........women do not ( unless they are extremely confident and well balanced)). So to overcome their failings they become moody

Women do have the choice, if they invest in one of these http://www.shewee.com/products/SHEWEE.html. Personally, I think I'll stick to being moody :slap

 

[kerching]

I saw a female diver using a shewee off the back of a dive boat.

Being a female ( the weaker of the species). She had not allowed for boat heave and wind direction. She did however experience blowback....oh yes!