The rescue workers at the Pakistan flood area say that the smell of
bodies is unbearable. They expect it to get worse when they start
finding the dead ones.
A charity single has been released in aid of the Pakistan Flood Relief.
It's called, "Raindrops Keep Falling On Ahmed."
There were no survivors from that recent Pakistani Airlines plane that
crashed, killing all 152 people on board. Both families are devastated.
A lesbian went for a smear test and the doctor told her, "That's the
cleanest vagina I've seen!" The lesbian replied, "Yes, I have a woman in
twice a week!"
Paddy and his wife were discussing their sex life. Paddy said, "I want
to try that wheelbarrow position tonight."
His wife asked, "What is that?"
Paddy told her, "You bend over, put your hands on the floor then I pick
your legs up and take you from behind!"
His wife said, "Hmm, okay, I'll do it on two conditions. First, if it
hurts you stop immediately and, second, ... we don't go down past my
mother's house!"
My teenage son told me that he had sex with the neighbour's daughter
last night for the first time. "Well done, son," I said, "I hope you
used something though?"
He replied, "Yeah, a balaclava!"
I went to the doctor while I was on holiday in Bangkok recently, to get
my testicles checked out. While the doc was cupping my dangly bits, she
said, "Don't worry, it's normal to get an erection during this kind of
examination."
I said, "I haven't got an erection!"
She replied, "No, but I have!"
Ramadan is here again. The one time of the year when Muslims cannot eat
or drink within the hours of daylight, they just starve.
Never has the term, "Not enough hours in the day" been more appropriate!
A bloke was sitting on a bus when a gorgeous woman next to him starts
breastfeeding her baby. The baby won't take it so she says, "Come on,
eat it all up or I'll give it to this nice man here." Ten minutes later,
the baby is still not feeding so she says again, "Eat it all up or I'll
give it to this nice man here."
The bloke says, "Listen, love, can you make your bloody mind up, I
should've got off four stops ago!"
French foreplay: Dinner, wine, sex!
Italian foreplay: Dinner, wine, caressing, sex!
Latino foreplay: Dinner, wine, dancing, caressing, sex!
Scottish foreplay: "Haw, ye awake?"
I fostered a Muslim child yesterday..... all four cans hit him on the
head!
The guy who owned the Odeon cinema group has died. His funeral is next
Friday at 2.10, 4.20 and 8.40.
I got banned from a Muslim clothes shop today. I only asked for a bomber
jacket. Touchy basta*ds!
Why do Cadbury's make white chocolate buttons?
So that black kids can have messy faces as well!
:coat :^O
bodies is unbearable. They expect it to get worse when they start
finding the dead ones.
A charity single has been released in aid of the Pakistan Flood Relief.
It's called, "Raindrops Keep Falling On Ahmed."
There were no survivors from that recent Pakistani Airlines plane that
crashed, killing all 152 people on board. Both families are devastated.
A lesbian went for a smear test and the doctor told her, "That's the
cleanest vagina I've seen!" The lesbian replied, "Yes, I have a woman in
twice a week!"
Paddy and his wife were discussing their sex life. Paddy said, "I want
to try that wheelbarrow position tonight."
His wife asked, "What is that?"
Paddy told her, "You bend over, put your hands on the floor then I pick
your legs up and take you from behind!"
His wife said, "Hmm, okay, I'll do it on two conditions. First, if it
hurts you stop immediately and, second, ... we don't go down past my
mother's house!"
My teenage son told me that he had sex with the neighbour's daughter
last night for the first time. "Well done, son," I said, "I hope you
used something though?"
He replied, "Yeah, a balaclava!"
I went to the doctor while I was on holiday in Bangkok recently, to get
my testicles checked out. While the doc was cupping my dangly bits, she
said, "Don't worry, it's normal to get an erection during this kind of
examination."
I said, "I haven't got an erection!"
She replied, "No, but I have!"
Ramadan is here again. The one time of the year when Muslims cannot eat
or drink within the hours of daylight, they just starve.
Never has the term, "Not enough hours in the day" been more appropriate!
A bloke was sitting on a bus when a gorgeous woman next to him starts
breastfeeding her baby. The baby won't take it so she says, "Come on,
eat it all up or I'll give it to this nice man here." Ten minutes later,
the baby is still not feeding so she says again, "Eat it all up or I'll
give it to this nice man here."
The bloke says, "Listen, love, can you make your bloody mind up, I
should've got off four stops ago!"
French foreplay: Dinner, wine, sex!
Italian foreplay: Dinner, wine, caressing, sex!
Latino foreplay: Dinner, wine, dancing, caressing, sex!
Scottish foreplay: "Haw, ye awake?"
I fostered a Muslim child yesterday..... all four cans hit him on the
head!
The guy who owned the Odeon cinema group has died. His funeral is next
Friday at 2.10, 4.20 and 8.40.
I got banned from a Muslim clothes shop today. I only asked for a bomber
jacket. Touchy basta*ds!
Why do Cadbury's make white chocolate buttons?
So that black kids can have messy faces as well!
:coat :^O
