Burglar

[bluetobits]

Bloke phones police in middle of night and says "I think there's a burglar trying to get in my back door."

Copper on phone says "OK sir, we've no units in the area at the moment but we'll send someone as soon as possible."

Bloke phones back 5 mins later and says "Don't worry about that burglar, I've shot him."

Within 2 mins there's a helicopter overhead with a searchlight and a full SWAT team outside. Police knock on blokes door and say "I thought you said you shot him? We can't find anybody."

Bloke replies "And I thought you said you had no one in the area"

 

[batty]

Love it as they say cruel but true.

 

[Apache]

Reminds me of another joke. Paddy and Murphy go out hunting in the woods. As Paddy closes his gun it accidentally goes off hitting Murphy in the chest. Paddy rings the emergency services on his mobile:

Operator: what service do you require

Paddy: Ambulance

Operator: I'll put you through

Ambulance: Ambulance service, what is the problem sir?

Paddy: I've just shot my mate, Murphy - I think he's dead.

Ambulance: OK sir, first make sure he's dead

Paddy: Ok hang on.....

BANG!

 

[septiclecky]

Bloke phones police in middle of night and says "I think there's a burglar trying to get in my back door."Copper on phone says "OK sir, we've no units in the area at the moment but we'll send someone as soon as possible."

Bloke phones back 5 mins later and says "Don't worry about that burglar, I've shot him."

Within 2 mins there's a helicopter overhead with a searchlight and a full SWAT team outside. Police knock on blokes door and say "I thought you said you shot him? We can't find anybody."

Bloke replies "And I thought you said you had no one in the area"

It's not a joke it's true as a bloke in Norfolk actually did it seen the news clip posted somewhere else.

 

[a1]

Septic is correct.

That is no joke - it is TRUE.

 

[steptoe]

septic is correct.That is no joke - it is true.

proof if ever it was needed

the welsh are even stupider than anyone else.

 

[Lurch]

Who'd have guessed it!

 

[kme]

It's not a joke it's true as a bloke in Norfolk actually did it seen the news clip posted somewhere else.

proof if ever it was neededthe welsh are even stupider than anyone else.

How do you get that, mate?

(I`m not, but Mrs. KME is 1/2 english (Norfolk), and 1/2 Welsh.)

I`d be REALLY careful if it were me.........

 

[steptoe]

How do you get that, mate?(I`m not, but Mrs. KME is 1/2 english (Norfolk), and 1/2 Welsh.)

I`d be REALLY careful if it were me.........

you need to be twice as careful ......

 

[septiclecky]

Don't forget Tony Martin who actually shot those two Shi*bags who broke into his home :Applaud :Applaud:Applaud:Applaud

 

[Lurch]

Mrs. KME is 1/2 english (Norfolk), and 1/2 Welsh.

Is Norfolk technically English? I went there once, it's funny.

 

[armbands0]

I think we are English, with a bit of Viking thrown in. Nice place to live apart from the nightclubs area of Norwich.

 

[steptoe]

How do you get that, mate?(I`m not, but Mrs. KME is 1/2 english (Norfolk), and 1/2 Welsh.)

I`d be REALLY careful if it were me.........

Id be wanting to check the date on the news story if anyone really believes that this happened for real.

its one of those old urban myths that has just changed and evolved slightly in time,

I heard similar when I was serving my time,

does anyone here know the wheelbarrow story.?

 

[bluetobits]

Id be wanting to check the date on the news story if anyone really believes that this happened for real.its one of those old urban myths that has just changed and evolved slightly in time,

I heard similar when I was serving my time,

does anyone here know the wheelbarrow story.?

Do you mean with Paddy and Murphy on the building site? Paddy asks Murphy to fetch him a wheelbarrow, he comes back with two, one inside the other. Paddy asks "what are you playing at?" Murphy replies "Well you didn't expect me to carry it did you?"

 

[Lurch]

Do you mean with Paddy and Murphy on the building site? Paddy asks Murphy to fetch him a wheelbarrow, he comes back with two, one inside the other. Paddy asks "what are you playing at?" Murphy replies "Well you didn't expect me to carry it did you?"

Paddy goes to the bar and puts an order in for his round, 4 pints of Guinness , 4 Whiskey Chasers, 2 bags of roasted nuts and 2 bags of pork scratchings. Barman asks "do you want a tray". Paddy replies "I've got enough to ****ing carry as it is".

 

[steptoe]

Do you mean with Paddy and Murphy on the building site? Paddy asks Murphy to fetch him a wheelbarrow, he comes back with two, one inside the other. Paddy asks "what are you playing at?" Murphy replies "Well you didn't expect me to carry it did you?"

no, the urban myth about the guy asking the foreman for some hardcore,

foreman says no problem, take as many broken bricks as you want,

so dutifully Paddy fills his barra each night and wheels the rubble home,

goes on for about a month,

suddenly the boss wonders where all the barras have gone.