Cover letter feedback needed (please)

[L-E_Fault]

Can anyone offer any constructive critisium on this cover letter.

I'm sure theres plentyPray

Dear Mr Sparks

Over the past academic year I have been studying the City and Guilds 2330 Electro-technical Installations at Level 2 to help me move into the electrical industry. I have gained a distinction grade in all six of the exams I have taken. I am signed up to study the 2330 level 3 which starts in September also this year I plan to complete the

 

[exbdc]

Spell check it. Career not carrer.

 

[L-E_Fault]

done.

Any more thoughts?

Any ideas what I could put to make me stand out from the crowd.

Or is it rubbish and I should start over I'm not very good at letter writing.

 

[Apache]

I'd add a paragraph before launching in to your 'over the past academic year...' introducing yourself.

eg

Dear Mr Sparky

My name is Tim Surname and I have worked as a plasterer for a number of years and now want to cross over into the electrical field - something that has always interested me. I feel that plastering has a number of carry over skills that could be useful to your company, such as......

make it personal?

 

[L-E_Fault]

How about this?

Dear Mr Sparks

My name is Tim and I have worked as a plasterer for a number of years and now want to cross over into the electrical field - something that has always interested me. I feel that plastering has a number of carry over skills that could be useful to your company, attention to detail, working to deadlines, familiarity with power/hand tools and an excellent work ethic to name a few.

Over the past academic year I have been studying the City and Guilds 2330 Electro-technical Installations at Level 2 to help me move into the electrical industry. I have gained a distinction grade in all six of the exams I have taken. I am signed up to study the 2330 level 3 which starts in September also this year I plan to complete the `C&G 2381 17th edition wiring regulations

 

[Apache]

I think it's much more personal now. Seemed a bit generic before.

Obviously you'll end it with your surname?

I'm quite old fashioned so I prefer a proper 'yours sincerely' or 'yours faithfully' but that might just be me!

Would you do a few days for no money to get experience? How old are you? is 77 your year of birth? Do you have a family? Could you use this to your advantage 'being more mature than the average apprentice I can be trusted to work on my own and not spend the day texting on my phone and listening to my Ipod'? Not sure about the wording but do you see what I am trying to get at?

Don't forget making good in your transferable skills!

Do you have a CIS card?

Any other skills (first aid, computers, health and safety)?

 

[Apache]

If you have the time personalise some of the letters. If the company has a website a line such as 'I see from your website you do contract work for British Rail, this area of electrics has been something that has always interested me'.

Shows you have actually looked into the company. Also try to write the letter to an actual name rather than 'dear sir'.

 

[L-E_Fault]

Thanks apache good advise I'll get thinking and see if I can come up with something better, and then get my proof reader to give it the once over

 

[Apache]

The letter's good - you just need to stand out but without being silly

 

[Andy™]

How about this?Dear Mr Sparks

My name is Tim and I have worked as a plasterer for a number of years and now want to cross over into the electrical field - something that has always interested me. I feel that plastering has a number of carry over skills that could be useful to your company, attention to detail, working to deadlines, familiarity with power/hand tools and an excellent work ethic to name a few.

Over the past academic year I have been studying the City and Guilds 2330 Electro-technical Installations at Level 2 to help me move into the electrical industry. I have gained a distinction grade in all six of the exams I have taken. I am signed up to study the 2330 level 3 which starts in September also this year I plan to complete the `C&G 2381 17th edition wiring regulations

 

[green-hornet]

Dear Sir/Madam

I am writing in the hope that you have a vacancy now or in the near future.

My name is Tim (blah blah) and I am so many years old, I have worked on various construction sites as a plasterer

and have now transefered my skills to the electrical sector which is what I wanted to do all along.

I have succesfully taken and passed blah blah blah gaining distinctions in all exams.

Whilst employed as a plasterer I have had to work to tight deadlines and am very conversant with all trades.

My ability to work as a team member and on my own can be shown by the references I have supplied to you.

My electrical knowledge is growing all the time and I have had some work experiance working alongside electricians

of various skills, a keen and eager learner who is commited to a high level of workmanship and excellent time keeping,

I could become a valuable member of your workforce.

Then go on to say a little about your interests, do you partake in any sports etc, do you know anyone who works for the firm?

Rehearse any interview skills you may have be polite and friendly.

Prospective employers like to see what experiance you have, and how well you will fit into the current work force.

The fact that you can plaster and would have knowledge of site work can work in your favour.

Tell them why you think you are better than anyone else, let them know you may be available on a day to day or temp basis,

this can be the best way in to a company who have small contracts that need fulfilling but have no chance of taking on extra full time staff.

Whilst there may be spelling mistakes in my post make sure your letter is not full of spelling mistakes.

Lastly good luck

 

[septiclecky]

What you should do is write a CV listing all your qualifications, work experience, contact details etc.

A covering letter can differ as to wether you are applying for an advertised position or writing to a company on speculation to see if they have any positions within the company or not.

If applying for an advertised position then you say that you wish to be considered for the advertised position of *********, please find enclosed a copy of my CV for your perusal.

If applying on speculation then say you are writing to find if they have any vacancies within the company enclosing a copy of your CV, if there are nopositions at present I would be grateful if you could keep my details on file should any position suitable become available.

This is just a guideline to help you.

 

[green-hornet]

Good Advise.

 

[kme]

Although I wouldn`t usually do this; given that this thread regards CV`s and letters to companies, I`m going to provide a couple of the more common mistakes, which spell-checkers won`t pick up, and would put me off immedately. No offence to anyone is intended, or should be inferred:

I can "Advise" you; or I can give "Advice".

similarly, in this instance, "practice" is the word you want, rather than "practise"

Hope that helps. I realise this is an old thread, but have noticed these two words, particularly, cropping up recently. It doesw not matter much on the forum; but if you are trying to impress a person you`ve never met, spelling and grammer can make a huge difference.

I would also echo Apache and GH with their comments; particularly as it relates to the correct layout and responses on your letter.

Over the years, a number of unsolicited CVs, telephone calls etc. have been recieved. If a written CV is not well presented, has spelling mistakes, or looks similar to posts from a certain moderator of this site, it`ll go in the bin without a second thought. If it is well written, I would keep that persons details available, as the ability to write coherently seems to be a dying skill.

Just my opinions, for what they`re worth.

KME

 

[L-E_Fault]

Although I wouldn`t usually do this; given that this thread regards CV`s and letters to companies, I`m going to provide a couple of the more common mistakes, which spell-checkers won`t pick up, and would put me off immedately. No offence to anyone is intended, or should be inferred:I can "Advise" you; or I can give "Advice".

similarly, in this instance, "practice" is the word you want, rather than "practise"

Hope that helps. I realise this is an old thread, but have noticed these two words, particularly, cropping up recently. It doesw not matter much on the forum; but if you are trying to impress a person you`ve never met, spelling and grammer can make a huge difference.

I would also echo Apache and GH with their comments; particularly as it relates to the correct layout and responses on your letter.

Over the years, a number of unsolicited CVs, telephone calls etc. have been recieved. If a written CV is not well presented, has spelling mistakes, or looks similar to posts from a certain moderator of this site, it`ll go in the bin without a second thought. If it is well written, I would keep that persons details available, as the ability to write coherently seems to be a dying skill.

Just my opinions, for what they`re worth.

KME

Apparently the spell checker doesn't pick up 'does' either. ; )

 

[Andy™]

If a written CV is not well presented, has spelling mistakes, or looks similar to posts from a certain moderator of this site, it`ll go in the bin without a second thought. If it is well written, I would keep that persons details available, as the ability to write coherently seems to be a dying skill.Just my opinions, for what they`re worth.

KME

same here - if its a good CV, then ill keep it just incase. otherwise, straight to the bin.

 

[kme]

Apparently the spell checker doesn't pick up 'does' either. ; )

AH! Good. You paid attention ; )Applaud SmileyApplaud SmileyApplaud SmileyO)

 

[Andy™]

whilst on topic of CV's, whats the worst/funniest/unusual youve got?

a while back i got one from someone who has no electrical experience, and had recenetly finished a french degree and decided to be an electrician instead

 

[green-hornet]

I get many cv's posted to me, one thing that really does them no good is the fact that they have had 30 jobs in the last 2 years.

I do tend to take on misfits, and they have this forums address so they know I am talking about them, but I must say the best lads I have had working for me are the misfits.

 

[PoorFish]

a while back i got one from someone who has no electrical experience, and had recenetly finished a french degree and decided to be an electrician instead

regarding this

I knew a bloke once who decided he was gonna join the Police force ......but if it didnt work out he was gonna get a p/time job in Argos.

He wasnt the sharpest!!!!