Cow jokes

[a2]

Why does a milking stool have only three legs?

Because the cow has the udder.

A lady from the city and her travelling companion were riding the train through Vermont when she noticed some cows.

"What a cute bunch of cows!" she remarked.

"Not a bunch, herd", her friend replied.

"Heard of what?"

"Herd of cows."

"Of course I've heard of cows."

"No, a cow herd."

"What do I care what a cow heard. I have no secrets to keep from a cow!"

My cow refuses to give milk, and you know why, of course.

She's been grazing in the field too long,...

And now she thinks she's a horse.

What are the spots on black and white cows?

Holstains

​

What kind of milk comes from a forgetful cow?

Milk of Amnesia

Have you ever heard the term "When Pigs Fly!"......

Well what if it were "When Cows Fly!"

Where do cows go when they want a night out?

To the moo-vies!

What was the bull doing in the pasture with his eyes closed?

Bull-dozin'

Do you know why the cow jumped over the moon?

The farmer had cold hands.

What did the bored cow say when she got up in the morning?

"It's just an udder day"

How does a farmer count a herd of cows?

With a Cowculator

Why don't cows have any money?

Because farmers milk them dry

Where do Russians get their milk?

From Mos-cows

What's a cow's favourite moosical note?

Beef-flat

What do cows wear in Hawaii?

Moo- moos

What do call a cow that has just had a calf?

Decalfenated

Why did the cow wear a bell around her neck?

Because her horn didn't work

Did you hear that NASA recently launched a bunch of Holsteins into low Earth orbit?

They called it the Herd Shot 'Round The World!

​

 

[Apache]

Thanks for trying

 

[a2]

There were these two cows, chatting over the fence between their fields. The first cow said, "I tell you, this mad-cow-disease is really pretty scary. They say it is spreading fast; I heard it hit some cows down on the Johnson Farm." The other cow replies, "Hell, I ain't worried, it don't affect us ducks."

 

[a2]

There was a herd of cattle all standing on a hill when an earthquake struck. All of the cows fell down, but the bull remained standing. The farmer noticing this went out and asked the bull, "Why didn't you fall down like the rest of the herd. The bull replied, "We bulls wobble, but we don't fall down."

 

[Apache]

There was a herd of cattle all standing on a hill when an earthquake struck. All of the cows fell down, but the bull remained standing. The farmer noticing this went out and asked the bull, "Why didn't you fall down like the rest of the herd. The bull replied, "We bulls wobble, but we don't fall down."

I don't get it :|

a talking bull?

 

[Apache]

Applaud Smiley

There were these two cows, chatting over the fence between their fields. The first cow said, "I tell you, this mad-cow-disease is really pretty scary. They say it is spreading fast; I heard it hit some cows down on the Johnson Farm." The other cow replies, "Hell, I ain't worried, it don't affect us ducks."

Applaud SmileyApplaud Smileyoldie but goodie Applaud Smiley

 

[a2]

The farmer is Dr Dolittle