funny experiences in the job

[phil d]

As the title says, we all have funny things happen lets hear some of them, I started remembering some of mine recently when I was writing a book.

Some years ago I used to do a lot of site work and was always getting asked to do jobs by the other lads on site, it was usually along the lines of "we're decorating and the wife wants new lights" or "the wife thinks it's time we had more sockets in the lounge". Anyway I used to tell them to get the lights and I'd go round and fit them, this usually worked out fine, note I said usually.

I went to fit a new lounge light and the one they'd got was useless so it had to go back, the bloke suggested I take his wife back to the store with it as "he had better things to do ", well we went back and swapped it and while we were there she was looking at fittings for the other rooms, the garden and a number of other things.

She said that every time she wanted a new fitting or fancy sockets or switches her hubby came up with a "reason" why it couldn't be done, I said there was no reason why any of the things she wanted couldn't be done, she then proceeded to fill the trolley with several new fittings and accessories, culminating in a large lamp post for the garden. She was made up when I fitted them all  the following day, unfortunately the same could not be said for her husband.lol 

 

[Evans Electric]

Ooooh   That could have turned nasty  Phil. !

 

[Blue Duck]

Mr Elias...

When you arrive he gets the chess clock out and starts the timer, then proceeds to stand over your shoulder watching your every move.

If you need to go to the van he would stop the clock and start it again when you return.

When it came to settling up he would argue that it's not an hour it's 53 minutes.... He'd always pay by cheque.

He a had a timer on his lights for the "weekend" even though it was about 10 years old he phoned MK and demanded a refund, that didn't go down well... I tested it and found it to be in good working order I later found it was his wife messing about with it to annoy him, whilst reinstalling said timer he was standing over my shoulder with the chess clock, I finally cracked and told him if he wanted his lights to work again or any of my other colleagues to work for him again he'd better courgette off back upstairs with his tango'd clock and leave me alone to do my work.

Never seen the clock since and he always buggers off when your working but asks if you would like a cup of tea first.

His brother is a very nice chap always pleasant and always offers food etc.

not exactly funny but a story none the less....

 

[phil d]

Ooooh   That could have turned nasty  Phil. !

It was quite funny actually, after he'd calmed down, I reminded him that he wanted me to keep his wife happy and I had, His reply was "next time you take her out I don't care where you take her but leave the credit card here"  

 

[Evans Electric]

When you arrive he gets the chess clock out and starts the timer, then proceeds to stand over your shoulder watching your every move

Theres a few of tose about Ducky.

They're called tight arzes  .    A bloke phoned me , ages ago now,  couldn't fit a lamp into the pendant , so I go round there .   There was the cap from a BC lamp stuck in the lampholder .  Get it out with pointy pliers , stick his lamp in , switch on & off . All OK  .

"How much is that going to cost me "?  Says he.

"Thirty quid ". Says I .

"HOW MUCH"!!!!!!  Says he. " You've only been here 5 mins".

I had to explain to him ,   get the van out of the garage , up the access gully.... open security gates.... close security gates 15mins. ...  Drive to address 10mins.  Remove cap from lampholder  5mins .....  Drive back 10mins ....open & close gates , drive down gully,  park van up in garage 15mins .  Its a bargain .  

His wife appeared and said "Just pay the man you miserable so & so!"  

 

[kerching]

Apocryphal tale

machine will not start

engineer called

looks at machine for 5 mins

hits machine with hammer

Machine now works

invoice £5k

£5 for hitting it

£4995 for knowing where to hit it

it DOES happen, I know!....I have done it

 

[Tony S]

There’s a down side to that.

A production worker saw me kick an old Brookhurst starter panel, next time I went to it the door was so bent I couldn’t open it.

 

[kerching]

I had a two,day round trip to Inverness

site engineer had tried everything to get machine going, they were losing production rapidly

i turned up,and first thing I did was switched machine on at the wall isolator  

the look on his face was priceless!....well not really priceless, my invoice was for just over £2k plus VAT

 

[rapparee]

I had a two,day round trip to Inverness

site engineer had tried everything to get machine going, they were losing production rapidly

i turned up,and first thing I did was switched machine on at the wall isolator  

the look on his face was priceless!....well not really priceless, my invoice was for just over £2k plus VAT

What did you put on the invoice. I hope you made something up to save the engineer.

 

[Lurch]

What did you put on the invoice. I hope you made something up to save the engineer.

Why? Do things like this and then you get courgetteed over later on.

 

[rapparee]

Why? Do things like this and then you get courgetteed over later on.

Or the engineer is forever in your debt. I'm forever bailing out boys in work. One hand washes the other and all that.

 

[kerching]

Invoice

attend site

energise machine

test machine

sign off machine as working

no materials used

no adjustments made

mileage

hotel

time

there are some 'engineers' that I do not want to be in my debt...I would rather have the money and a clear conscience

 

[rapparee]

I usually give out "lost time" like gifts to the general operators. Pay off outside contractors with a few extra hours of labour. I have to build up a power base somehow.

 

[pewter]

used to do work for a window firm......... will try keep the story short.

Moving stuff to get under the floor and the gimp suit fell out of a bag.

The fun climaxed when my colleague waved a large black dildo at the window fitter the other side of the window who was up a ladder while his boss was below talking to the owner of the toys.

I had a complet loon before christmas, best nutter ever .......

Hard floors covered in sheets, corex and other protection while i changed a couple sockets and switches. As i finished each area it was cleansed and even the corex taken out to be bleached. I was watched closely all day.

I powered up some 2 way switching and one of the cables had broken during replacment. I found the problem and repaired in 10 mins. The woman was almost in tears and  having a melt down because it had not worked when i energised it.

I had to return another day to replace 2 switches, 1 light and 2 lamps. 2 switches in she had a melt down and asked me to leave. When i spoke to her husband eventuly, a while later, she had told him i was 'hanging the job out' .   I pointed out i spent 7 hours with her watching me working, during the time i did not have a drink, lunch, use the toilet or my phone.

I got my  money in the end.

It is a longer story and she was a real twisted evil lunatic.

 

[phil d]

used to do work for a window firm......... will try keep the story short.

Moving stuff to get under the floor and the gimp suit fell out of a bag.

The fun climaxed when my colleague waved a large black dildo at the window fitter the other side of the window who was up a ladder while his boss was below talking to the owner of the toys.

I had a complet loon before christmas, best nutter ever .......

Hard floors covered in sheets, corex and other protection while i changed a couple sockets and switches. As i finished each area it was cleansed and even the corex taken out to be bleached. I was watched closely all day.

I powered up some 2 way switching and one of the cables had broken during replacment. I found the problem and repaired in 10 mins. The woman was almost in tears and  having a melt down because it had not worked when i energised it.

I had to return another day to replace 2 switches, 1 light and 2 lamps. 2 switches in she had a melt down and asked me to leave. When i spoke to her husband eventuly, a while later, she had told him i was 'hanging the job out' .   I pointed out i spent 7 hours with her watching me working, during the time i did not have a drink, lunch, use the toilet or my phone.

I got my  money in the end.

It is a longer story and she was a real twisted evil lunatic.

I had one something similar, went to a job near mcr airport, 2 new people carriers on the drive. I walked in and the guy had put dust sheets all the way from the front door to the landing where the job was, anyway I put my sheets over the top of them and did the job. Arrived back at depot and the guy had been on to the boss screaming I had burned a hole in his carpet and he wanted £400 to replace it, boss was going mad and saying it was coming out of my wages. I explained the situation and showed him my dust sheets, no burn holes, I drove back to the house determined to have it out with the customer and found a tiny bit of damage to the landing carpet, right next to a recently fitted socket. It turned out that an electrician from a previous company had caused the damage, and he'd been paid out for it, when he needed another job done he'd decided to use a different company from out of town (ours) and try and claim for the same carpet. 

 

[kerching]

Carpet fitter mate of mine...finishing off job, fitting thresholds

scream from downstairs....water everywhere

"you've nailed a pipe!".....nowhere near where he was working.

carpets up, boards up, pipe nailed NOWHERE near where he was working

owners wife turned up and asked my mate  what was going on......he explained.

she called her husband and ripped him a new defecation orifice!

he had nailed the pipe the night before, turned water off, waited for banging noise from upstairs from my mate. Turned water back on!

TW@

my mate was less than amused

 

[Evans Electric]

This reminded me of the acorn on the newel post job.

I walked up the stairs , hand on the top of the newel post ..and the acorn shaped top bit came off in my hand ...grabbed it and put it back .

My mate came up...did the same .  

Owner appears and accuses us of breaking it off ..... builder hears this and says " Come on Mr ........   you blamed me yesterday and the plumber the day before " .

 

[Tony S]

Why? Do things like this and then you get courgetteed over later on.

Maintenance etiquette states “you don’t drop the person that called you out in the $h1t, instead you cover his arse”.

Why? In the future he’ll call you out again without hesitation because you are now his friend.

 

[Lurch]

Or the engineer is forever in your debt. I'm forever bailing out boys in work. One hand washes the other and all that.

Maintenance etiquette states “you don’t drop the person that called you out in the $h1t, instead you cover his arse”.

Why? In the future he’ll call you out again without hesitation because you are now his friend.

I'm obviously more cynical than you two!

 

[Evans Electric]

Also remember quite a few instances along these lines.

We turn up to some work at a city centre office block ,  each floor is rented out to a different company ,  electric cupboard with boards on each landing for that floor. 

We are working on the 2nd floor ,  someone comes down from the 3rd floor to say we need to go up there as since we arrived , a load of their lights have gone out and were OK until we turned up .  :C

The other one was ..." Can you just have a quick look at this while you're here , only take you 5 mins "    Which translates as  ...I don't really want to pay you for doing it .  

I'm obviously more cynical than you two!

Lurch ...cynical !!!   Does the Pope carp in the woods ?