Little Johnny

[mcgaw81]

Definitely

One day the teacher wanted the class to use the word definately in a sentence. Suzy raised her hand so she called on her. She said, "The sky is definately blue!" "I'm sorry Suzy thats wrong the sky sometimes turns different colors red ,gray etc.. any body else?" Timmy raised his hand and said, "The grass is definately green." "I'm sorry Timmy that's not true either, sometimes the grass dies and it may turn brown, anybody else?" Little Johnny raises his hand and says, "Teacher do farts have lumps?" The teacher says, "no why?" Johnny says, "Then I definately **** my pants!"

 

[mcgaw81]

Learning To Count

Little Johnny was just being potty trained and his mom tried this new method with 6 steps:

1. Unbutton pants

2. Pull pants down

3. Pull foreskin back

4. Pee

5. Push foreskin forward

6. Pull pants up and button up

She walked past the bathroom one day and heard Johnny going 1,2,3,4,5,6 and she was thinking she did good.

Then she walked past the next day and heard him saying real fast 3-5,3-5,3-5...

 

[mcgaw81]

Caught Short

Little Johnny was sitting in class one day. All of the sudden, he needed to go to the bathroom. He yelled out, "Miss Jones, I need to take a ****!" The teacher replied, "Now, Johnny, that is NOT the proper word to use in this situation. The correct word you want to use is 'urinate.' Please use the word 'urinate' in a sentence correctly, and I will allow you to go." Little Johnny thinks for a bit, then says, "You're an eight, but if you would let me go ****, you'd be a ten!"

 

[mcgaw81]

Gambling

It was little Johnny's first day in a new school, so his father looked up the teacher. He told her that little Johnny was a good kid but that he was an avid gambler. He warned her that little Johnny might win lunch money from the other kids if he was not watched closely. The teacher did not seem disturbed, assured the father that she had handled many such problems and was very capable of taking care of little Johnny's urge to gamble. Shortly after lunch, the father called the teacher and asked her how things were going. "Oh, everything is going very well." She said. "I think I may have cured little Johnny of his gambling habit." The father asked her what had happened. "The little tyke absolutely insisted on betting me ten dollars that I had a mole on my rear." She said. "I finally agreed to the bet and took him to the teacher's lounge to show him that I had no mole." "Damn!" The father said. "He bet me fifty dollars this morning that he would see the teacher's ass before the day was over."

 

[welshwizard]

So - Little Johnny goes to school -> then he learns to pee -> Then little Johnny goes to school again -> Then little Johnny starts a new school, where he gets a viewing of his female teachers arris?

There's a boy - isn't he?.

:^O

Is he Scottish, by any chance?

:^O :^O

 

[mcgaw81]

So - Little Johnny goes to school -> then he learns to pee -> Then little Johnny goes to school again -> Then little Johnny starts a new school, where he gets a viewing of his female teachers arris?There's a boy - isn't he?.

:^O

Is he Scottish, by any chance?

:^O :^O

Now now !!! i neva even looked at the way they were posted but i see what you mean,

:^O :^O