As bizarre and contentious as this may seem, I actually feel very sorry for Moat. I worked as a professional full time doorman for many many years in some of the roughest cities / towns in our land. I have been witness to many horrors and had hands in things that only appear in films and your worst nightmares. Sadly, Moat's life was one that many professional bouncers find themselves in, me included in my dark distant past which was the stereotypical life of violence, steroids, organised crime etc. The lifestyle eventually takes a strangle hold over you and it becomes a debauched way of existing. You train to increase size, take 'gear' to increase size, which in turn does have psychological effects. You grow big, spend your life inflicting pain (both on and off the doors) and in a sick way you enjoy it - it becomes your lifeblood that you need to survive. Aggression and anger are at the forefront of your psyche and character and it doesn't take much to send you over the 'edge'. I was lucky and had a return ticket!
My belief is that Moat was a good man, dillusional, angry, violent and DESPERATE. That alone is enough to try the best of us. However, in a man who treads a fine line between good and bad daily it soon becomes a reality. Now hear me before you all throw stones in my direction - I do not condone in any way shape or form what this man did. I simply understand and have empathy for a man caught in a bad situation which to be fair - most will never venture into or begin to understand. He crossed the line for sure but he wasn't mad - just had ALL the wrong buttons pushed in / out of prison.
If you don't get my meaning - watch the film 'Falling Down' with Michael Douglas - it will put everything I have written into perspective. We are all capable of the most despicable and heinous of acts - it is just that most have the ability to rationalise. Maybe he didn't or lost it somewhere along the way.
My thoughts and prayers are with everyone touched by this tragedy.
