Old chestnuts of the trade .

[kerching]

That there MUST be a Zillion bonding clamps on boiler pipework

 

[Steve3948]

That you must put a fly lead earth from back box to socket even with a fixed lug.

 

[kerching]

That sockets must be on a 'ring' main

 

[SLIPSHOD & SLAPDASH]

Fluorecent lights have starter motors to get them going

 

[Andy™]

Fluorecent lights have starter motors to get them going

i guess that explains the noise some of them make when starting up

 

[welchyboy]

That it's possible to fail an Elecsa assessment

There's such a thing as a 'landlords certificate'

That part p is a qualification

That payment in cash means I will half my price

 

[kerching]

That a job can be Cheap, Quick and Good. In Practice you can only actually have 2 out of these three options....which 2 do you want?

Electricians can predict the future, be telepathic and know in advance what the customer actually wanted and expected instead of what he asked for!

That double covered cables are double 'insulated'

that metal items cannot be 'double insulated'

that ' it won't take more than 10 minutes, my husband would do it but he does not like using steps' means I will not be paying for more than 10 minutes

My husband has taken it to pieces for you and here are the pieces [and everything else he had that looked vaguely related] ACTUALLY MEANS that said item will never work again and should be consigned to a council burial

 

[Revved Up Sparky]

"Yes of course you can export the TNCS earth to the outbuildings !"

(Steps where were you ? )

 

[wicksy]

A socket will work if you just screw it to the wall. (a woman took a double socket back as she said it does work.

You don't have to lift any floorboards or move any furniture or take any units/tiles off the wall on a full rewire

 

[sellers]

Rewires create absolutely no mess or dust.

 

[ProDave]

That a circuit wired in Red & Black MUST have been installed pre Part P.

That the customer is always right.

That the DNO's wiring always conforms to BS7168

That ALL downlighters in a new build MUST be fire rated.

That Halogen downlighters are energy efficient.

That downlighters look nice (anyone detect a theme here?)

That plumbers know how to wire a complete central heating system, and are qualified to do so.

That being an electrician is an easy and well paid job.

 

[Andy™]

A socket will work if you just screw it to the wall. (a woman took a double socket back as she said it does work.

few years ago when working at the council, i did get called to a socket not working, that turned out to be a socket & box on the wall. no cable to it

 

[steptoe]

[quote name='Andy

 

[ProDave]

few years ago when working at the council' date=' i did get called to a socket not working, that turned out to be a socket & box on the wall. no cable to it[/quote']When my neighbour built his house next door, he had building control booked for a final visit, and he realised he had forgotten to fit an extract fan in the utility room.

So he quickly screwed a fan to the wall. It was neither wired, nor vented through the wall. but the inspector didn't try turning the fan on, and issued the completion certificate.

 

[SLIPSHOD & SLAPDASH]

[quote name='Andy

 

[steptoe]

I had one of those, spent 15 minutes trying to unscrew it before realised it was a safe.

:slap

 

[davetheglitz]

I had one of those, spent 15 minutes trying to unscrew it before realised it was a safe.

You're not the only one who has done that!