Slap Fest

[kerching]

So,in these troubled and uncertain times there will be many things that annoy us.  Even if, like myself, you are a cuddly baby kitten type person. 

So, what 5 things are boiling your urine at the moment?  You can use 'groupings' if needs be

all you have to do is list the five people/things you would not tire of Slapping the bejayzus out of...current issues only Apart from ONE wildcard BUT it cannot be about the appalling customer service and reneging on guarantees by B&Q , for example! did I ever tell yo.....

1). NHS and caring staff being charged for parking at hospital ( I believe this has now been quashed )

2) people not obeying the distancing rules

3). Scottish Medical advisor going to her holiday home TWICE

4) ALL TV stations , but mainly BBC, sending reporters ( and all the support team/hangers on) to do outside reports   So a reporter drives up to the Lake District to report on people making unnecessary journeys and stands by a road sign saying Lakes are closed .  Reporter stands out side St Thomas' hospital where Boris is doing a piece to camera

5) TV Interviews with 'experts'......BBC just interviewed Boris's Biographer to see how he will,be feeling in Hospital

wild card...(.let's call,it the mike Brewer card as everyone wants to deck that bewigged slaphead mockney car diddler)

greg Wallace.     Malteser bonced , grinning, penfold lookalike, vegetable worrying, ill informed, line repeating , Z list twonk

over to you chaps

 

[Murdoch]

1. "journalists" asking daft off topic questions at the daily briefings (and I wish Laura Kuennesburg would lose her microphone)

2. Trades people blatantly breaking the 2m rules

3. Members of the public breaking the 2m rules

4. "hindsight" comments by opposition parties to score political points

5. Drivers using the roads as if they are currently race tracks

 

[Sidney]

NHS staff parking should have always been free.

1. People hoarding food.

2. People throwing away food that's gone out of date since they hoarded it three weeks ago.

3. Holier than thou social media posts about kids meeting up in parks and joggers not giving people some distance.

4. 5G Corona virus conspiracy theories.

5. The BBC.

 

[kerching]

Mmmm

may have to extend this to 10 instead of 5

6). That Jimmy Krankie Scottish first minister....condescending , point scoring ging 

7) Keira Starmer...just his face is enough

8). everyone that asks for specific dates for things....who knows?   Were winging it and trying our best

9) arsheholes profiteering on selling essentials

10) insurance companies saying you are not covered for Business Disruption by notifiable disease etc as the virus is NEW so NOT on the list so NOT covered

 

[ProDave]

Kier Starmer.  Just his name is enough. 

Tenants who say they want a 3 month rent holiday coz the government says so (point out it is just defering rent due, not a rent free period)

Banks that are shut more than they are open

Stupid customer that paid by cheque forcing the need for the visit to the bank

Toolstation who took 3 days just to send me an email to say one item was out of stock. Didn't even say which item. It took a phone call to get the rest of the order even sent.

 

[Murdoch]

6. Keir Starmer - yes, in less than a week, it seems that political points scoring continues even in the times of crisis

7. Nicola Sturgeon - yes, the stuck record blaming every body else except them selves

8. SAGA ripping off old people

9. Utilities like BT, Sky and Virgin ABUSING their existing customers and allowing new customers to have lower prices

10. SKY for ruining countless sports by locking them behind expensive pay walls - so they prevent new younger people seeing them and following them

 

[Murdoch]

Stupid customer that paid by cheque forcing the need for the visit to the bank

Join Lloyd’s is my advice, then you can pay a cheque in, using an app on your phone

do you have to go into Inverness?

 

[ProDave]

Join Lloyd’s is my advice, then you can pay a cheque in, using an app on your phone

do you have to go into Inverness?

There is a bank closer to us in Alness. I have not been to Inverness since the lockdown started.  I can't find a reason to justify that.

 

[misssweden]

1) People who hoard. I’m cool with people who buy enough to last them a week or so to save trips to the shops, it’s the ones who buy enough loo roll to last them until 2022 who needs a slap in the face with a chair. 
 

2) Social media shaming. I know sometimes people don’t follow the rules. Do I need it all over my social media feed? No. 
 

3) Anyone who thought the Easter weekend was a great excuse to have a BBQ with all their mates and extended family...

4) Me, for my inability to curb my tendency to do online shopping to fill my time. Good thing I’m classed as a key worker, being at home full time could get really expensive...

5). Hmmm... out of options now. Although it’s horrible what’s happening, it also seems to bring out the best in people.

 

[roys]

Just escaped from Steps cellar have we Misssweden, welcome back.

 

[kerching]

@misssweden

you must be bored if you've come back here!.......

are you well?

 

[misssweden]

cheers guys how are you doing?

I’m as well as you can be when you’re less than a month from your planned move back to sweden and someone throws a pandemic in the mix. As if it wasn’t stressful enough...

 

[Sharpend]

Woah! So you’ve come on to say goodbye???? 
permanently??
what will you do when you go home as your qualifications are only relative to here, it’s true Deke told me :C  

i hear that Sweden isn’t practicing a lockdown for the pandemic, that’s to say they’re carrying in as normal. Is this true? 

 

[Evans Electric]

hear that Sweden isn’t practicing a lockdown for the pandemic, that’s to say they’re carrying in as normal. Is this true? 

I believe thats right ,  which means you can't go back .     I'll be heartbroken  and this will finish Steps  if he ever gets to hear .  

Yes  thats right  , English qualifications are not accepted in Sweden because  ...erm... er ... because we are now out of the EU  , no one can leave .  

I have a message from Steps  here:-

He says Oh Mama Mia  - he Had a Dream  that you'd leave one day .  Does Your Mother Know you're coming home ?        Come on ,  Gimme ,Gimme, Gimme a good reason to leave  eh !  ...Whats the Name of the Game ....is it Money Money Money  ?      

You can still log in from Sweden  right ?   Let us know how its going .  

 

[misssweden]

I’ll still pop in here on a biannual basis as per the usual tradition  

Turns out C&G qualifications must be worth something (sorry Deke ) because I got a job as jointer/linesman for a little DNO close to where my parents live. As much as I’m sad to leave the UK (especially in the current circumstances, I don’t get to say goodbye to anyone), I am really looking forward to spending some more time with my family. 1-2 weeks of the year just isn’t enough. 
 

It’s not quite business as usual, they are starting to implement some social distancing measures but it’s nowhere near a full lockdown. Knowing my luck they go into lockdown the minute I put my foot on swedish soil... that’s if I make it there, the flight has already got cancelled twice! 

He says Oh Mama Mia  - he Had a Dream  that you'd leave one day .  Does Your Mother Know you're coming home ?        Come on ,  Gimme ,Gimme, Gimme a good reason to leave  eh !  ...Whats the Name of the Game ....is it Money Money Money  ?      

That is the most beautiful bit of ABBA poetry anyone has ever written for me. I’m touched!

 

[Evans Electric]

Good !!  I thought it was a bit gringy  TBH    but couldn't resist  .      Its a sad thing  but if someone mentions Sweden    we think of blue eyed blondes ,  Saab ,  herrings and ABBA .  

 

[misssweden]

It’s the thought that counts as stereotypes go though I’m rubbish, the hair is blue, not the eyes. And I drive a corsa...

 

[Andy™]

cheers guys how are you doing?

I’m as well as you can be when you’re less than a month from your planned move back to sweden and someone throws a pandemic in the mix. As if it wasn’t stressful enough...

looks like youre staying here a bit longer then

 

[misssweden]

looks like youre staying here a bit longer then

Could well be the case. Although from the 24th of this month I’m officially unemployed for the first time in my life until I start my new job, so I could do with getting on with it...

 

[kerching]

So a few years ago your hair would be a Phase and now it's a neutral!  Oh how times have changed

Did you ever ever do your HV?