Alzheimers

[Badger]

A truck driver gets stuck under a low bridge.

After a while a policeman pulls up alongside.

"Are we stuck sir?" he smirks.

"No," replies the driver, sarcastically, "I was delivering this bridge and I run out of ****ing diesel!"

sendpm.gif

 

[Badger]

this is getting to be as long as the bdc thread

 

[Badger]

After his annual checkup, Bob learns that he has a rare disease and 12 hours to live. His wife tearfully says, "Honey, I'm going to give you a night you'll never forget."

They make passionate love with an ardor they haven't felt in years. When they're done, Bob asks his wife, "Can we do it again?" This time it's even more passionate.

Later, as she is about to doze off, Bob gives her a nudge and says, "Honey, I know it's getting late, but I think we can do it one more time."

"That's easy for you to say," she complains. "You don't have to get up in the morning."

 

[Apache]

It was Winstons 40th wedding aniversary, so he bought his wife a buquet of roses, some expensive chocolates and a bottle of vintage champage. She was so pleased she said to him 'Oh Winston, lets go upstairs and make love' he replied 'I'm 75 - it's one or the other'

 

[betty swollocks]

working in a house the other day and this 5 year old kid walks up to me and asks "whats yer favourite telly tubby" so i said "probably the new 50" Samsung widescreen lcd" and clipped the little sod ; \

 

[Apache]

working in a house the other day and this 5 year old kid walks up to me and asks "whats yer favourite telly tubby" so i said "probably the new 50" Samsung widescreen lcd" and clipped the little sod ; \

They do make good TV's do Samsung

 

[Riggy]

They do make good TV's do Samsung

You mean "They do make good TV's do Samsung - Tubby"

 

[maccarooni]

Walking into the bar, Paddy said to Charlie the bartender, "Pour me a stiff one - just had another fight with the little woman."

"Oh yeah?" said Charlie, "And how did this one end?"

"Well it went on for hours and when it was over," Paddy replied, "She came to me on her hands and knees.

"Really," said Charles, "Now that's a switch! What did she say?"

She said, "Come out from under the bed, you little chicken.":|

 

[kme]

To return to the Viagra.................

Lady walks into a chemist`s shop, and says to the man behind the counter:

"Do you sell viagra"?

"Yes", he replies.

"Does it work"? she asks.

"Definitely", he responds.

"Can you get it over the counter"?

"Yes, if I take two"

 

[Tazmaniandevil]

Old Jimmy goes into the pharmacy to pick up his 4 month course of Viagra. The pharmacist says, "Hey Jimmy, how come a month long course of Viagra lasts you 4 months?"

Jimmy replies, "I only take a quarter tablet each time."

"Hang on," says the pharmacist, "how do you manage to get an erection with a quarter Viagra?"

"Oh I don't take them to get an erection," replies Jimmy, "I take them to stop me p1ssing on my slippers."

 

[Apache]

I fondly remember this thread of reposting short jokes - so thought I'd revive it nearly 3 1/2 years later!

My missus says I'm immature, and we should set aside a day so that we can talk... Like that's gonna happen in the middle of conker season!

---------- Post Auto-Merged at 22:53 ---------- Previous post was made at 22:52 ----------

I met a beautiful woman by the side of a lake . There was an instant Spark between us and she fell at my feet. As we lay together making passionate love,I thought to myself...... these tazers are well worth the money.

 

[Andy™]

i cant even remember posting any of whats in the thread...

 

[steptoe]

what thread? :|

 

[SLIPSHOD & SLAPDASH]

[quote name='Andy

 

[batty]

Perhaps he's counting there stock.

 

[Andy™]

exbdc hasn't been around for a while.

i think we should re-name him extef

 

[SLIPSHOD & SLAPDASH]

Perhaps he's counting there stock.

That would have taken a few seconds, even when they were trading !