Foul smell

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It a classic one, isn't it?Some cracking replies in this thread. Lol.
You're not kidding! I think I 'liked' every post. Better than stand-up, and worst of all it's TRUE!

Keep your council house rewires. This thread should be made a sticky for all those who ask about 'I've always wanted to be a spark...shall I part with

 
Don't know how i missed this thread. Started a job this morning where the owners dog didnt stop farting all day, i kept putting him in the room with the chippy, but every time i got up the ladder the chippy herded the dog back into my room.

The smelliest contract we ever had was The Biglands council estate in East London. The low rise blocks had asbestos sheeted fronts and were being replaced with UPVC double glazing with solid lower panels. Due to this we had to fit humidistat fans in the kitchens & bathrooms.Several amusing stories came from there,

I picked up the keys to a vacant property from the site agent & didn't even get to open the front door due to the acrid smell that almost had me throwing up on the door mat. When i complained to the agent he told me a guy had died in there and laid undiscovered for a few weeks. The flat had been professionally cleaned twice and shouldn't smell !!!

Another flat had us drilling through from the bathroom to pick a feed up at a bedroom socket, as i reached over to the recess at the end of the bed i realised i had my hand in a 6 inch high pile of nail clippings, the lazy sod obviously clipped his (or her) nails over the end of the bed and this must have built up for years. Same place in another flat my mate put his hand in a puddle of vomit that had gone green & hairy, the occupier must have thrown that up a few days earlier and just left it to rot into the carpet.

In quite a few flats the whole front wall was removed for the replacement and the occupier still laid in bed asleep.

One of the guys working with us was quite hirsute and got his arm stuck to the grease build up on the top of the kitchen cupboards, oh how i did laugh.

But the best one was the flat facing a common, the guy had a horse in his living room, it was a miniture Shetland Pony that he brought in at night to stop it being nicked, we realised as we were making a quick exit the lino was in fact carpet that was flat due to the trodden in horse sh*t.

 
And i thought i've had it tough Slips i think you really have earn't your money loved the shetland pony one you really would have to see that to believe it.

 
sorry, :( I thought that was pretty obvious.

take it you guys dont do much council or tower blocks then?

good tip for tower blocks or flats,

DONT hold on to or run your hands along anything, including banisters or railings,

and use a screwdriver to push the buttons if you use the lift!
And use your foot to lift the toilet seat and flush!

 
Never sit on a strangers/public loo, iff you do follow this simple rule 'Hover or Dont Bother'

 
And use your foot to lift the toilet seat and flush!
Wiring a shower in a level access conversion, needed a wee wee, so lifted the toilet seat conversion contraption. Fingers in fresh wet poo splatter and lots of it.

Had to leave the property, run round corner and empty my stomach. :_| :_| :_|

Better still had to return to finish wiring, having the joiner and plumber laughing heartedly. I learned that lesson the hard way - never do it again.

 
Ah you've worked in Birmingham then Steppers ? In case others don't know , razor blades can be stuck under the banister handrail ready for Police or emergency services to come dashing up . We were installing amenity lighting around the bottom of some tower blocks , as two sparks were clipping pyro to the building , a third had to stand looking up , to warn them when either (a) a TV set was being hurled from an upper window or (B) a bucket of urine was being tipped out , or © glass marbles were being dropped from the top floor because the drilling was waking them up at 2.00PM .
Ok, I am not a scrutter, but when i left home many moons ago, I lived for a couple of years in some very dodgey council high rise flats. It was a nice peaceful sunday morning and I was changing the brake pads on my trusty escort. A lovely couple on the eleventh floor decided to have a massive bust up in their flat and the guy punched the windows, started throwing out magazines, cupboards and a television bad day explode , BOOM!!!

This carried on for a while, when a car pulled up next to me and a middle aged couple got out and started to walk towards the flats.

As I am a caring citizen I told them "HEY, watch out! Some idiot is chucking everything out of the flat window!"

"WE KNOW" they replied, "He is our son!"

OOPS, I always say the wrong thing at the wrong time.

 
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