Things I Don't Like

[steptoe]

was it a special plumbers tape measure?

or just a normal tape measure?

I have a builders one, it has a little spirit level on it, all I need now is a trowel and I can start a brickies business, thats all the tools they use, isnt it.?!  :C

 

[SPECIAL LOCATION]

(1)

Trying to change an immersion heater element, when the previous "plumber" has smothered the threads and washer plumbers mate or some sort of cement - why do they do it?

(2)

By the way, I won a tape measure in the Christmas raffle at my local plumbers merchants, so does that make me an award winning forumite?

(1)...

I was going to say.. "how do you know a plumber did it"....

then realised  " Plumbers Mait -  Non setting compound for sanitary joints"  http://www.screwfix.com/p/plumber-s-mait-750g/14477?cm_sp=Search-_-SearchRec-_-Area1&_requestid=289350...

used on immersion heater... 

So yes..

it must have been a plumber ..

anyone else would read the manufactures recommended uses and instructions before slapping it here there and everywhere!!!!

(2)...

Technically a tape measure is not an award... Its a prize...

So there is still only ONE Award winning forumite...

that of course is Sir Dekerington of middle england.. (he of new van fame).. 

but I am sure you could be titled "PlumberJohn, non-forum related prize winner"...

or something like that ...??

Guinness

 

[ProDave]

Things I REALLY don`t like;

Taking apart and unblocking a saniflo - for the 6th time in the same flat FFS. The retarded tenants just don`t understand that it won`t eat baby wipes. I`m surprised the landlord hasn`t kicked them out yet.

Are you SURE that was a baby wipe not a t****n?   :run

 

[kerching]

As i am on a downer at present.....

Silent phone calls

Pretentious food.....jus JUS, WTF is that? It used to be gravy

foam....FOAM?!? FFS it is just flavoured spit

Chunky chips WTF!.....its just badly cooked roast potatoes

Chillis on a menu denoting the heat level..........must work on a sifferent method to my taste buds.....4 chili rating?.......not even a ONE on my scale

Overpriced drinks

Attempted rip,offs by wedding venues for my Daughter

Forgetting to charge batteries

Charging batteries and then leaving them at home

Gardening

Daytime TV.......ALL shows included

My car being fubarred after only 240,000 miles

Having a new exhaust fitted to my car shortly before the half shaft sheared

People who push shopping trollies with their elbows/forearms

People who block shopping aisles engrossed in meaningless conversations.....eg..."have you been to,the Club lately?"

Lukewarm coffee

TEA

Flies

Cheap,tools

Knowall know nothings

Zero to heroes

Prententious twonks

Old men whistling/singing loudly in shops

Makeover programmes

Car park payment machines that do not give change

TV auction /baggage battle/storage hunter/storage wars type shows where the money/ profit made is judged solely on what somebody THINKS the item is worth

Not being able to find my belt sander

That is it for the moment, there may be a couple more to come later on

 

[sprocketflup]

Site Admins? Do you have enough bandwidth for all of Kerch's 'Don't likes'? Im wondering if itd be easier all round if Kerch just listed all the thing (sic) that he doesn't 'don't like'? :slap

 

[NozSpark]

Hey kerch... were you on TV the other night in "The complainers" ???

 

[kerching]

Hey kerch... were you on TV the other night in "The complainers" ???

Nah, not me, I had another more pressing committment!

That Steve from Huddersfield WTF was his problem?

there are many things that I like...but that would just be boring

I cannot fault ANY of my dislikes!.....I LIKE that!

 

[Evans Electric]

I speak as someone who is called "Victor "  in the wholesalers but I bow to The Kerch's superior complainability.  :innocent

 

[kerching]

My Dad passed away 5 years ago jun 19th

I am proud to carry on his work ethics!

If he thought you were a skelt or a tw@ then you would be told in no uncertain terms

He did not suffer fools gladly!

He was proud that after 60+ years in business he could still walk through the town centre and not have to bow his head or avert his gaze from anyone, as he had never had 'anyone over' or shafted anyone. It was a different matter however if the tables were turned!

I miss him

Just carrying on a family tradition

 

[Evans Electric]

My parents were like that and hence I too would not rip anyone off .   It would never occur to them to cheat someone .

And yes ...I also miss them .

 

[kerching]

people talking 'Bollox speak' and using words such as

robust

partnership

working towards

in an effort to

matrix

last chance to buy

your chance to own

limited edition....FFS they will be limited for the duration of the consumer trial then if it is found that they sell then they will be marketed

slugs eating my plants

my tw@ neighbours throwing snails into my garden....they are in for a shock when my bucket d'escargot is full

barbara Windsor on adverts

Bingo...

lenny Henry advertising Premier Inn Lodge Travel Tavern....like he stops in one

Big Brother and ALL reality shows AND their offspring

wine that tries to referment as it is too warm

twonks throwing empty ale cans into my garden

the low life knuckle dragging cretinous scum that inhabit our once proud nation and insist on throwing the remains of their takeaway either in the road or dropping it  next to their car as they spin the wheels of their pimped up underpowered large exhausted nitrox fitted  seat Ibiza in a rush to get home to play on their playstations or buy some mary joanna

.....probably a couple more that I have forgotten later on

just....being the voice of reason

 

[Sharpend]

Sorry about the snails, I had no idea you were my neighbour!!

 

[ProDave]

I don't like the tw@t from Scottish Water who is a complete jobs worth and a total arse.  He's making my dig up my water pipes on my plot before he will connect the water, because he can't see them so doesn't believe they are burried deep enough.  

Arse F in arse.

 

[NozSpark]

Surely he's only responsible for the pipe up to the meter/isolator,,, the rest is your problem

 

[ProDave]

Nope.  ANY pipe he sees has to meet the regs, and out came the tape measure.  A bit like the see you next tuesday building inspector who once failed a new build I had wired because a smoke alarm was only 295mm away from a light fitting and it should be 300.

My "mistake" was trying to do work in advance.  I should have just installed a stand pipe as a building supply point, right next to where the water comes in and they would have just connected to that, and then not bothered what I did when connecting the house etc.

I also have to install an in line check valve on the pipe feeding the stand pipe. He would not accept the bib tap has a built in check valve, nor would he accept that the in ground stopcock has a built in check valve. So there will be THREE check valves in line with the tap on the standpie.

 

[kerching]

Back on topic lads, this is serious......

Twonks who add additional words to make a mundane phrase sound more special, ie chefs who

Reduce down

Fry off

Cook through

Run through

Boiling HOT water.....i thought it was cold

Being pestered on motorway services tomtake out a credit card....usually whilst rushing to,the bog

Pestered by Sky salesmen in shopping centres

Shopping centre managers

Being "taken through security"....ie giving all your personal,details to someone you do not know

Barclays Bank

Brucie

B and Q...........come on!

Matey TV and Radio presenters who will "see you next time"........bloody clever two way TV and Radio now

Probably a couple more

 

[revjames]

waitresses in rerstraunts referring to your collective group as 'guys' had this yesterday... "everything OK guys?" every 5 mins.... no tip for her

 

[batty]

Caravans two hour hold up on motorway going on holiday due to overturned Caravan.

 

[Steve3948]

Old people driving on the roads on days out, driving at 20mph, when the rest of the world is in a hurry.

 

[kerching]

Caravans two hour hold up on motorway going on holiday due to overturned Caravan.

I actually quite like overturned caravans ( as long as no body is injured).... I do not think that there are nearly enough of them!

Other things I do not like

ALL the latest run of Irn Bru adverts

Any advert with Lenny Henry in it

Brucie

B & Q and there absolutely pissh poor and appalling after sales customer service and inability to find anyone within their orange pinny wearing shower of managerial muppetts with enough balls to honour a warranty

Barclays Bank

Granddaughters with chickenpox

Flies

Mozzies

Probably a couple more