B&q

[M107]

Between them the Newbury &Reading store managers couldn't organise a shag in a brothel...........................as for the halfwits they employ on the shop floor I'm not surprised they are closing 60 stores!

Useless funch of cucking bunts 

 

[ProDave]

But they are opening more Screwfix branches instead.

 

[Andy™]

has kerch ever mentioned that time when...

 

[Andy™]

They are Kerch's favourite shop next to the corner shop  :innocent

its kerch, he rebranded, remember?!

 

[kerching]

I would NEVER have a bad word said against B&Q!

ONE word is not enough, One million words would not be enough.

Shower of fricking useless pinny wearing, know nowt, mate calling, over priced, lacking morals, sell to anyone, warranty disowning, guarantee shirking fiddly diddlers the lot of them.

Did I ever tell you the story about a DIY store ( let us call it B and Q, for the sake of argument)

If you buy a product from them, say for example...a kitchen, and part of it fails during the advertised 10 year guarantee period, YOU are not covered unless ONE OF THEIR UNQUALIFIED TWONKS Fitted it in the first place EVEN IF the part that failed was due to a design error!....No?....well sit back and i well tell you a story

Once upon a time......

 

[M107]

Well my problem was with delivery of 3x sliding doors...............................ordered weeks ago & finally got them today.

So after taking 2 days off work over the past few weeks & no delivery I loose the plot, Monday steam into the branch & give the manager "Josh smiley nothing can get me down" both ******* barrels (cocky funt).

Started with al the usual blag of it being somebody else fault & we may not have completed the order correctly then he called me bruv :yellow card   :red card  "Josh call me mate or ******* Bruv again & I shall take that tightly rolled order sheet from your hand & insert it somewhere that'll bring tears to your eyes....... am I fully understood?"  ......"yes sir" ....at this point I knew I had his & all the customers at he tills attention :slap  & a delivery date was set for yesterday. (have to say Mrs107 was sort of like :facepalm:   where as some of the customers & staff were  :Applaud ).

So anyway I get a call yesterday from one of his minions (mary)

"so sorry the guys are so busy they will not be able to deliver today"  

not a problem Mary (small pause) tell Josh he now has a 4 hour time slot tomorrow morning to get the doors delivered before I go to work. after that time his world will fall apart & i shall be chatting to his manager & his managers manager about his lack of managerial skills & customer relations.

This morning another call from a different minion (Lucy)

"we are short of drivers today can the delivery happen next"

No & did you or Josh drive to work today?

"yes both of us why"

Far be it from me to teach Josh how to manage a DIY store or the workers below him, but wouldn't it make sense if you are short of drivers to ask who can drive & utilise those workers in the capacity of a delivery driver?

In fact do yourself a favour put a business case together for all workers at the stores to form a pool of drivers & for the managers to have the accessibility to hire extra vans from a local company if needed & send it to the head shed, before you know it you'll be doing Josh's job.....................anyway back to business tell Josh I'm waiting & he now has just over an hour to complete my delivery.

Bang on 11.30 a car pulls up with the tail gate wide open & 4 doors hanging out the back, they called one of the late shift lads in early so he could use his estate car to deliver the doors.

His face was a picture when I told him they were the wrong doors. :Applaud

 

[ProDave]

^^^^

that is precisely why for doors and kitchens I go to Howdens.

 

[OnOff]

I went one afternoon, young baby in tow, to a certain store about 20 miles from me to buy one of those big mitre saws, think they had a 20% off everything sale. After phoning and checking stock the first branch I went to does indeed have 2 in stock...........but can't find any. They had a look and not finding them said "We do have a lot of stuff stolen!". The box the saw comes in is about 3'x3'x2' FFS! They phoned around other branches and found one who had 6 in stock. Off I go to that one, 10 miles on. Couldn't find them so I asked. Eventually found them stacked on the highest shelf in the store - one of the warehouses and they were virtually touching the ceiling. They couldn't, because of "Health & Safety" get one down for me as it would mean getting the pallet stacker, cordoning off the area etc. So, had the row and they agreed they would get one down overnight and make a note in the "book". Next morning I'm back and the saws are still all up in the Gods. At the Help Desk I kick off and they after first denying one exists "can't find the book". Manager appears. They clear the area below where the saws are, get the pallet stacker and get one down after row number 2. Quite why they couldn't do it the day before.........

The wife wants to look at "wallpaper" or some such so off she goes with little'un. Left to my own devices I decide that to take advantage of the 20% off I should buy two spare GP blades and one of the diamond ones also. The saw box being bigger than the trolley as sitting on top so about 6' to the top. Easiest place to put the blades is on top of the box.

Massive till queue and baby now screaming. My wife pointed out to me when I got home that the checkout girl had only scanned for the saw.......... :Blushing

I like B&Q btw.  :innocent

 

[ProDave]

Massive till queue and baby now screaming. My wife pointed out to me when I got home that the checkout girl had only scanned for the saw.......... :Blushing

I like B&Q btw.  :innocent

I am sure we have all "accidentally" done things like that before

 

[Sharpend]

I am sure we have all "accidentally" done things like that before

You worked on a till before then Dave :innocent

 

[OnOff]

Many years ago a chap at work sauntered in and said that he a had a mate who worked at one of these DIY stores could get, "ANYTHING you want at 50% of cost!". He went away with a big list I seem to remember.

Anyway, getting back to B&Q  .......I used to take great delight in showing my brother the Electricfix catalogue AFTER he's been and bought the same thing for twice the price there. 

But on the plus side of these closures there might be some bargains to be had! When Focus/Do It All went down they had first 50% off then 75% on their power tools. Got an 18V cordless circular saw with 2 batteries for £24.99, a Dremel type thing for £7.50 and so on. Both the same lesser name (Challenge?) but both still going strong and used at home now and then though I've re-celled the saws Nicad batteries.